Disclaimer: In Real Life is a platform for everyday people to share their experiences and voices. All articles are personal stories and do not necessarily echo In Real Life’s sentiments.
Family Man
Many people say it but don’t mean it: We’d give up holidays, dinners, and other things to win big at work. I made my sacrifices in my 20s and early 30s. I’m in my mid-30s now, working full-time as a software engineer and programmer. I specialise in database management, system and network security, and client and server-side integrations.
I made my sacrifices so that I could spend time with my family now while my kids are in their tweens because I don’t want to regret not spending enough time with them when I’m older. Those regrets often come too late, with no way to fix them.
The Backstory
At the start of January, my boss came to me with a situation: A client had failed to pass a compliance audit and was hiring us to regain compliance by the month’s end (Jan. 2023). Otherwise, it meant six-figure fines with a daily penalty for each day late.
I frowned as I looked over the workload: the client was dragging their feet in getting the necessary information and data to me to fix the problems.
My Holiday Plans
My boss and colleagues know that I take the full 14 days of the Chinese New Year off to be with my family. I’ve been doing this every year for the five years I’ve been with the company. I had my 2023 CNY leave booked and approved in October of 2022, including flight tickets and hotel reservations.
I reminded my boss that I had been on leave since January 19 and would only be back on February 6. I asked them to get the information so that I could start working. I even offered to work extra to make sure I could finish my part before going on leave.
“Work. Or Else”
I finally met with my boss and got the data on the 10th of January. I would have needed more time to finish the work in the few days I had left. We both knew it, but my boss made his demand anyway: “You work through CNY to finish this.”
I countered that I had booked plane tickets and the hotel three months prior. Would the company refund that cost to me? My boss just shrugged.
He shrugged. Flights for four people and a two-week hotel stay, and he shrugs. Then he added the kicker, “Get this done, or you will be fired.”
I Fired Myself
I sighed, and my boss thought that I had accepted my fate. He was half right. I started working and spent those few days training, explaining things, and adding details to the support documentation for the software and code I had created over the past five years.
That was a red flag for my colleagues. They knew something was up. They started to get nervous because it was my codebase, and since I wrote it, no one else knew it the way I did.
The Last Morning
I paid my dues and sacrificed enough for my career over the course of a decade. I treasure and value every moment I can have with my family because I don’t have enough of it, especially with my children. They grow up so fast.
On Friday, May 20th, I logged in at work, sent my resignation by email, and dropped hard copies of my resignation letter on my boss and HR’s desk.
I took the last few personal things from my desk, ensured that my credentials were deactivated, signed over my office keys and cards, and left.It was 9:30 in the morning. For a change, I could still get home and cook lunch with my wife. That would be nice.
My boss was on leave that Friday for his reunion dinner and would only find out on Monday or Tuesday. Whatever. I didn’t care.
The Fallout
The code was a mess when I joined the company five years ago. I spent too many hours rewriting and restructuring it. By the time I was done with it, I had written almost 85% of it.
The support documentation was as up-to-date as I could make it, but any changes or updates would be made without my knowledge of the system. I knew the client would be paying a fine at the end of January.
But I was done. I didn’t have a reason to care about the company or its problems. I’d spent a week bringing my colleagues up to speed—a silent warning to them that all hell was speeding towards them.
The Follow-up
My now-ex-boss only got back to work on Tuesday, the 24th, and only then discovered that I was long gone and not even remotely interested in coming back.
He started by demanding that I return to work and do what I was paid to do. He knew I was reading his messages (that WhatsApp double blue tick). But I wasn’t interested.
Of course, his messages went very quickly from making demands to begging. He promised to cover the cost of my ticket to fly back immediately. I presented him with my counteroffer, which didn’t sit well with him. I started ignoring him again. Then he started calling my wife because I wouldn’t answer his phone calls or reply to his messages. I sent him a message about that.Even though everything was falling apart around him, he kept trying to give me orders as if I still worked for him. I refused to work overtime due to his bad project management and planning and told HR as much when they called me.
He went quiet for a while after that. He realised that he was in trouble.
I pointed out that the answers to all questions were in the support documentation, which was fully up-to-date. It’s not my fault they can’t figure it out.
The Client Calls Me
On the February 3, I got a call from a different number: The client called me directly to find out what was happening. I politely explained that I was given the required data and information far too late to fix everything by the deadline.
I explained how I had been threatened and would not be compensated for the lost leave, tickets, or hotel. I even included screenshots of the one-sided conversation my ex-boss was having. The client listened, and curiosity compelled me to ask why they were calling me.My ex-boss had told them I was “holding the company to ransom.” Interestingly, my ransom demand was the counteroffer I made.
Working there full-time again would be setting myself up for failure if I were ransoming my former employer.
A New Job
The client, desperate to avoid further financial damage, met the previously offered terms immediately but added a clause that I would have to finish as soon as possible, citing that they would pay a bonus based on how fast I could complete the necessary work.
Also, depending on my performance, they would consider giving me a full-time position, with terms to be negotiated separately.I found this very agreeable and gave them a detailed list of software, data, and tools I would need to complete the project. They sent the contract over the same day, and I started work as scheduled.
“Family first.” It sounds so easy. It’s not: we’re constantly juggling work and family life. I wish I could spend more time with my family, but money makes the world work.
I’ve got my work cut out for me, but I’ll sacrifice some sleep to guarantee I get a better job that will let me spend more time with my family.
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