Disclaimer: In Real Life is a platform for everyday people to share their experiences and voices. All articles are personal stories and do not necessarily echo In Real Life’s sentiments.
“Jennifer” is in her early twenties and, at a glance, looks like any other university student. Her Chinese parents are staunchly middle class, and her studies at the premier Swiss Hospitality School are not cheap.
Five minutes into our conversation and she comes across as incredibly intelligent. Conversations go from the issues of Malaysia’s future and the General Election to her opinion on Wakanda Forever. Not what you’d expect from the stereotype of a girl in her profession.
“I’m Jennifer first and escort second,” she admits candidly. “I enjoy my job, but I don’t talk about it: Sex work is very stigmatized. But there’s a massive misperception of what Escorting involves. A large part of what I do isn’t sex or sex-related – “norm du jour”.
How did you become an escort?
I needed cash, and a friend referred me to The Agency. I had no idea what I was getting into when I walked through the door. The Agency was unique in working exclusively with university student part-timers. They handle security and background checks on clients, and they would, naturally, take a cut.
What sold me on the Agency was browsing the site: It showed ordinary young women. Nothing over-sexualized or revealing. I recognized a few faces, as my coursemates and seniors helped convince me this was safe.
What was your first escorting experience?
It was a charming dinner date. He took me out to dinner and was an absolute gentleman. We were laughing like old friends by the time the main course arrived. We both indulged a little during dessert and flirted like old friends.
“Of course, things progressed, and he successfully charmed me out of my clothes and into his bed. I had a fantastic time that night and again in the morning before I left.”
I was fortunate to have such a great first experience. Because of that, I trust my Agency and have gone on to have many more similar extraordinary times and experiences.
Do your parents or any of your friends know? Are they… supportive?
No. My parents have no idea, and I pray to God that they never find out. I dread to think of what it would do to them and their lives – especially my father. I have not told any of my friends about it either. I honestly don’t think they would be very accepting or understanding.
Do you still get nervous before meeting a new client?
Every time. There’s no telling just what kind of person I will meet. When I started, it was safety, security, and risk concerns.
But the Agency backs us up: We also get the final say on whether an encounter happens and what it involves. Security and the threat of permanent blocklisting keep the clients in line. The power and control are firmly in our hands.
These days, I follow the established safety procedure, and it’s more of a curious excitement with a new client. With an established client, it can be exciting, almost like catching up with an old friend, a friend with benefits, or both.
Who are the clients? Why are these men paying for sex?
Typically, they are aged 35–40, married, and have children who are probably around my age. These men are high-powered, successful individuals that include doctors, lawyers, and business leaders. Beyond that, they come from a melting pot of backgrounds, countries, careers, and religions.
Source: Unsplash.com
“Even though they are married and have children, they are lonely. Money is no object to them. Most of them are not paying for just sex; I think that’s a bonus for them. These men pay for companionship, for company, and for someone to listen to them.”
They want an intimate emotional connection with someone but don’t get the chance to do that in their personal lives. The sex is generally okay, and like I said, it’s not the main reason they come to me.
What are the good and bad things about being an escort?
It’s exciting work because I get to meet many interesting people and listen to, talk to, and interact with people I would never meet otherwise. I’ve learned a lot and can even call one or two friends.
The worst part about being an escort is not the sex (which can be amazing or boring depending on the client), but constantly listening to their problems. Being an Escort means building a relationship and trust. Clients naturally open up and share their issues, which can adversely affect my mental health. Sometimes I feel like a part-time therapist who needs a therapist too.
Is there a “type” of person who would make a good escort?
Being an Escort means you spend a lot of time communicating. You must put people at ease in order for them to open up and be comfortable. Some of my “best” clients want companionship and a sympathetic ear. They are alone in the city and want to enjoy a human connection for a few hours.
When I have done my job right, my client will have forgotten their troubles for a while, perhaps sharing some of them with me. I could have helped them work through something and plan it out. They are relaxed and at ease.
Yes, sex is a part of the job, but sometimes that is not what they need at the night’s end. Of course, being appropriately skilled in this area does help; it is still a part of the job.
Could you walk us through an encounter? How does that work?
It’s the same every time: The Agency contacts me via Telegram or Signal with a photo and itinerary. If I am available, I will reply accordingly. If I accept, the Agency will provide an address.
The itinerary is crucial, so I know how to dress and sometimes how to act. Makeup classes were a godsend, and my wardrobe is impressive. I’ve been to soirees wearing designer gowns. I’ve worn the “business chic” and, on a few occasions, just dressed like myself.What happens during the encounter happens: Dinner, a movie or performance, and sometimes a little window shopping. Sometimes it leads back to the bedroom; sometimes, it doesn’t. Sex is not all there is. Sometimes it’s an hour or two just talking over drinks in a bar.
“If it goes to the bedroom, new clients will be allowed to lead, set the pace and tempo, and control the situation and setting, so they can have what they want. It will be pretty vanilla unless we are informed of any “special requests” ahead of time.”
With an established client, things are about the same. But because there is a relationship, trust has already been established, and things can go beyond the expected and anything can happen spontaneously.
An established client wanted to try some BDSM on the spur of the moment, and I was willing. We went shopping at a sex store together. Of course, I let him tie me up and “test out” a few of his other purchases. It was a rush, a thrill, and a walk on the wilder side of life. I’d happily walk there with him again! Trust and communication, built over time, make that possible.
“Regardless of what happens, I charge by the hour, and the Agency pays me weekly. I take home about RM1,000 per hour (about CHF200.00). In a given week, I make RM10,000 as a part-timer and could triple that amount if I did this full-time.”
Has being an Escort changed you in any way? Have you learned anything from your experiences?
Life skills. I’ve gained quite a few useful ones: Fashion, cosmetics, skincare and the like. It is always best to be at your best in this particular industry. I’ve also learned to read people in terms of body language and human nature. I don’t know how to describe it, but I can look at a man and know what he’s missing or wants on some level.
I’m more empathetic now towards men and understand them better, as far as the challenges, stresses, and pressures that they face both at work and at home. I’ve learned to listen and to read between the lines to hear what they are not saying. I know it sounds so vague and nebulous, but that’s how it feels.
“I’m also in better shape now than ever before. Honestly, sex is still a part of the job, and that means having the stamina to keep up with my clients and, of course, the skills to titillate and tantalize until they pop like warm champagne.”
What do you think is the biggest misconception about Escorting and Sex Work?
The Sex industry is massive and very diverse. Yes, it has a substantial dark side – forced prostitution, human trafficking, and narcotics. But where legalized sex work occurs, the biggest misconception is that we’re forced to do it, that there is no pleasure to be had, and that it’s all about sex.
I won’t speak for what happens in other branches of the industry, but Escorting is not a sexual transaction. It’s about companionship, providing a connection to people, and sometimes just being a sympathetic ear. I have to clarify that whether we do it for the money or for other reasons, everyone I know is doing it out of choice.
Society is changing and gradually becoming more accepting of sex work, but it still has a long way to go. As a whole, Malaysia cannot accept that women enjoy sex and that sex work can be a legal and safe profession. Malaysia is far from ready to accept that if it is legal, regulated, and controlled, it is safer for everyone involved and creates a revenue stream through taxation.
How do you think escorting fits in with feminism or female empowerment?
There’s a thin middle-ground line between the black-and-white way of seeing things. I’m in that grey area: I am a woman and embrace the freedom to do what I want.
I am empowered because this is my choice. I was not forced or coerced, and I chose to do this. If that isn’t empowerment, then what is?
What happens once you graduate?
I don’t know. That’s about a year away. I know I’ll graduate and get a job to stay in Europe.
“Will I stop Escorting? I don’t know, but probably not immediately. Ask me about that in a year, once my internship in Hong Kong is done, and I know that my actual career is going to go somewhere.”
Otherwise… who knows?
Thank you for your time.
The pleasure, as always, Eris, is mine.
Do you know anyone with an interesting story to share? Drop us an email at hello@inreallife.my and we may feature the story.
For more stories like this, read:
I Paid RM2800 For A Prostitute I Found Online, And This Is What Happened Next
This M’sian Stutterer Struggled With Life & Learned ‘Rap’ To Get Over It – Now Music’s His Career!
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