Disclaimer: In Real Life is a platform for everyday people to share their experiences and voices. All articles are personal stories and do not necessarily echo In Real Life’s sentiments.
The challenge with relationships is not falling in or out of love with someone, but to actually staying in love with them, and to let them know that you love them without coming across as overly clingy or too sappy to be romantic.
Here is how Malaysians make their partner feel loved and appreciated:
1. Find her a private nickname
Sometimes known as a “pet name,” and is generally something that only the couple in the relationship would know or use in private. It’s a way to remind each other that you occupy a special place in each other’s lives, and a space in each others hearts.
Use it when talking together at home, or when you text, call or video chat with each other. It helps you not feel so alone during the day.
2. A little love note or love letter
Writing a long, romantic letter is something to do when you are both really far apart. Not when the distance is that of your separate offices, or between the workplace and wherever home is.
Write a sweet and short love note give your special someone something to read. Of course, pen and paper beat digital in this case, because you took the time to actually write something as opposed to a quick whatsapp!
Apart from the romantic message itself, the act of creating such a romantic love note also implies that they are on your mind throughout the day.
3. Flowers. Say it, flowers
Hayfever and pollen allergies aside, give them flowers for not reason at all. Despite the fact that giving flowers is the ultimate Hollywood romantic cliche, it is a cliche because it generally works.
Deliver the flowers to their office by courier or in person at the end of the work day by their car or at the train station when they are on the way home.
If you’re not sure what her favourite flowers are, go with the classic long stem red roses by the dozen. Cliches. They work for a reason.
4. Romantic text messages
This is the reason you don’t WhatsApp the love notes and you hand write them. You don’t need to send an essay. Just use that pet name with a few short words so they know how you feel about them, that you’re thinking of them and look forward to seeing them at the end of the day.
To spice things up and give it a change of pace, don’t always send it on WhatsApp or Facebook Messenger either. Try sending an old school SMS.
5. Call them
Sometimes, the simplest ways, are the best ways. Pick up the phone, let your fingers do the metaphorical dialing and just tell them that you do love them, and care about them and their well-being.
Keep the call short, brief and sweet, to enquire about their day and what they have been up to and that (maybe) you’re looking forward to see them later.
6. Tell them thank you
Tell them how much they mean to you and that you appreciate both their emotional and physical presence as a part of your life. Show them that you are grateful, and that you appreciate the efforts that they make to be there, and be supportive of your own endeavour. It is as simple as saying, “Thank you, my love.”
7. Appropriate Public Displays of Affection
You probably don’t ever want to be the couple that is literally slobbering over each other with deep tongue kisses in public. Keep the PDAs to a minimum but make sure they are there and discrete. The best of these are simply holding their hand or a simple hug.
That close contact always feels good, either to hold their hand (or even better) just hold on to them for a few moments. Of course, a classic, chaste kiss on the cheek should be fine in public too!
8. Make time to spend with them
Make time every week. Clear an afternoon, block an evening, or perhaps even an overnight till the following morning. Give your partner time and share in just being together, doing something. Anything from cuddling with a movie, to sharing a new experience or doing something they want to do.
No matter how busy you are, the relationship with the person you love should be of at least equal importance.
9. Gifts and a pampering
Don’t go out and buy her a new Prada handbag. These gifts are the smaller tokens that should not be costly or even remotely bank breaking. These are the gifts that should be small, and meaningful reminders of how much you love and care for them.
It could be as simple as her favourite chocolate bar paired with a handwritten note, snuck into their day bag, or tickets to see their movie of choice… or perhaps a trip for a manicure/pedicure at her favourite salon.
At the end of the day, everyone wants to feel special somehow, someway. Most people succeed in making their partner feel special some of the time, but how do you make them feel special all of the time. It comes down to all these small things, these small gestures of love.
Loving your partner is never in question or in doubt, but hopefully, this will help you express your love, your care, and your affection for your partner, so that they never have reason to doubt you.
For more stories like this, read: “My Parents Didn’t Even Know Who He Was!” – Malaysian Couple Eloped After Dating For 2 Months and Dear Women, Here Are 13 Dating Secrets Malaysian Men Won’t Tell You
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