Disclaimer: In Real Life is a platform for everyday people to share their experiences and voices. All articles are personal stories and do not necessarily echo In Real Life’s sentiments.
I’m a perfectionist. If things don’t go exactly as I wanted them to, I perceive myself as a failure, even when I know this isn’t true.
But that’s just how I am, and I feel this nonetheless. My brain would have to tell me that I’m not really a failure, so that’s just one thing that I’m super conscious about.
[Image taken by the author]
I just need to be kinder to myself and accept my flaws and the fact that things are not going to be perfect. I would need to accept that I can’t control everything to be perfect.
Doing Daily Affirmations & Self-Reflection Daily Helps
The affirmation that resonated with me the most is to take a step back and see how far I’ve come with the work that I do now, such as my career. Also, the part about forgiving myself because of the whole perfectionist ordeal
So my morning is very ritualistic for me. Self-reflection is an ongoing thing that I do for myself every day. I start my day by setting my mindset to be ready for the day. I reflect on my flaws before I start work, while I’m getting ready.
It’s not so much about what you need to do. It’s just something you need to be conscious of and something you should reflect on.
[source: Kristal Tereziu on Pexels.com]
“It’s just really deep self-reflection, done as often and as consciously as you possibly can. A lot of people try to run away from that and from themselves, but I think I’m pretty grounded in that sense.”
A lot of the perfectionistic person I am today is because of my family background. My parents are divorced, but it’s been a long time anyway, so it’s fine. But I try to anticipate and read the body language of the other person in any relationship (whether work-related or whatever). So I usually try to tackle things and confront the problem instead of letting it fester into something else where it’s too late to mend things.
How My Perfectionism Affected My Work & Career
I’m really big on communication. I always believe that we can work it out, or at least try. If it isn’t working out, we can just accept it and go our separate ways. I’d rather have things said than remain silent.
But, in an odd way, this behavior manifested itself in my becoming more aware and considerate of others.
[Image taken by the author]
“I will always anticipate things. I don’t think I’m a micromanager, but if someone does not perform to a certain standard—because I’m also under a lot of pressure—then at that point I would just take over and do it myself.”
In that regard, I’m very particular because I can already anticipate that there’s going to be a problem. People tell me to relax when I keep following up with them, but I wonder how they can’t anticipate the problem. But I think in that way—I guess I am trained to have that skill set.
For me, I’ve come to accept that the things I can control, I will control fully. That is actually my career and my professional life. The person I am today owes a lot of it is down to my own effort, which I had control over.
On the flip side, there are also a lot of things that are out of my control, and those are the things that are really hard for me also.
For example, my parents’ divorce is out of my control. Or, if my relationships aren’t working out despite my best efforts, that’s also beyond my control. Because it involves another person.
So I’m very aware that there are some things in life that I can’t control. I just have to accept that. But the things in life that I can control, I will try to control.
[source: Feyza Yıldırım on Pexels.com]
Everything is an ongoing project. All of us are works in progress. Just as you feel like you’ve got many things figured out, there will always be a surprise around the corner. This is something that I realise for myself, and something that I have to accept – that I am a work in progress as well…
“Some days will be easier than others, and some will be very hard. But just be kinder to yourself.”
We just have to accept that and accept the journey, rather than wanting to land at a certain destination.
Do you know anyone with an interesting story to share? Drop us an email at hello@inreallife.my and we may feature the story.
For more stories like this, read:
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