Disclaimer: In Real Life is a platform for everyday people to share their experiences and voices. All articles are personal stories and do not necessarily echo In Real Life’s sentiments.
I’ve had threesomes before and they’re alright. They’re not as exciting as people think, honestly. It really depends on the chemistry of everyone involved. Sometimes it can get awkward in every way.
But this one time, I swiped right on a couple on Bumble and broke them up within a few hours. I will never regret what I did.
I like men and women
I’ve never had a preference of one over the other. Men have something unique they bring to relationships and so do women. Dating a man or woman always came up to circumstances and who I gelled with best.
I have this joke that I tell my friends who date/f*ck one gender only (be they homo- or heterosexual): only bisexuals can say that they truly choose someone because of their personality because for straights/gays/lesbians, it comes down to the gender preference first and then personality.
But despite the number of invitations I get to threesomes, I don’t really go for them that much. It’s disappointing when I swipe on a cute girl on Tinder and I find out that she has a boyfriend that she wants to f*ck a girl with. Like damn, I wanna have sex with you, not your boyfriend!
So one day I swiped right on a couple on Bumble out of boredom
It really helped that they explicitly stated that they were a couple seeking a threesome. I thought, hey I haven’t had a threesome in a while, why not?
Soon after I swiped right, the girlfriend messaged me. She seemed really nice and sweet. After exchanging a couple of texts, we decided to chat on Telegram.
I’d always been a people person and I could tell that this girl was nervous, so I spent some time talking to her. I found out that she was a recent transplant from East Malaysia who found her way here because of work. Her boyfriend was a foreigner who works here in Selangor. They’d been together for nearly a year. It would have been their first time having a threesome.
Since I was the one with the most experience, I decided to take the lead.
But then things got weird
About half an hour after I’d given her my Telegram deets, I started getting messages from her boyfriend. At first he seemed alright, just your average bloke. I chatted with him a little, getting to know him as I did with his girlfriend. I mean, he was gonna be ⅓ of the threesome right so I had to know what I was getting in for.
And then his comments got way too much for me. While we were texting, he suddenly started talking about how keen he was to have sex with me. Okay, fine, men seem to be such horndogs for FMF threesomes so that didn’t seem to be an issue.
But my last straw was when he told me that I’m much better looking than his girlfriend.
As a woman who likes other women in that way, I don’t appreciate being complimented by putting another woman down
Aside from that though I was starting to hear warning bells in my head. I decided to check in with the girlfriend.
I told her that her boyfriend was messaging me and she seemed upset about it. Turns out that their agreement was that she would handle talking to any potential woman for their threesome and he had to take the backseat. Somehow he had wheedled my details out of her. I didn’t like where this was going.
“Hey do you really want this?” I asked her. She shyly admitted that she wasn’t into women; that he had always wanted to have two women at the same time and that’s why they were doing this.
“Can you show me what he messaged you?” she asked. I sent her screenshots of our conversation from beginning to end. I told her that I didn’t like this situation and advised her to leave him.
I’d only known her for like two hours and I could already tell that this relationship was toxic as hell.
She left him – good riddance!
I was really happy that she broke up with him. I checked in with her though, asking her how she felt about the breakup. She admitted that she didn’t love him all that much – their relationship was a couple of months short of a year – and she agreed that she deserved happiness.
She was really nice and we talked a little bit to each other. She offered to introduce me to a girl friend of hers who was also bi. We lost touch, but I do hope that wherever she is, she is happy.
No matter what gender you are, your romantic relationship should add happiness to your life
And that means having healthy boundaries with your partner and mutual respect. He obviously didn’t respect her as a person and I’m glad she kicked him to the curb for it.
Sometimes, you have to have to say “enough is enough”!
For more stories like this, read: From Compromise To Disagreements Without Drama: Malaysians Share The Green Flags They Want To See In Relationships, “He stared at me without blinking the WHOLE time” – 3 Malaysians Share Their Weirdest Stories From Tinder, and I Was Bisexual But I Didn’t Know It – Until I Moved Out Of My Parents’ House In KL.
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