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This story is about a young woman who took a very unconventional route to complete her degree and find her dream job.
Growing up in Johor, I was raised in a low-income family. To me, the idea of attending university was an unattainable dream.
But life has a funny way of throwing opportunities your way. Mine came in the form of an older white man who introduced me to the world of fetish culture.
Here is how my journey began.
Despite being only 16, I was a wild child who often went to bars and clubs. At one of those clubs, I met an Australian expat who was working in Singapore.
He was 29 when we started dating. It was him who introduced the idea of dominance and submission to me. I never told him my real age, and to this day, he still doesn’t know how young I really was when we first met.
At first I was hesitant, unsure of what to make of this newfound fascination with ropes and whips. To his credit, he never pressured me into anything I did not want to do. It was always in a gentle way, and soon I was hooked.
Shortly after my 18th birthday, he moved back to Australia as his work contract expired, and we broke up. I was heartbroken, but this first relationship opened a whole new world for me to explore.
I was a straight-A’s student with a dream of becoming a data scientist.
Since I was young, I had high aspirations to live a comfortable life. I had always excelled in my studies, getting mostly As and Bs.
When I hit college, I decided that a data scientist would be my career of choice as it was one of the top lucrative fields to make money. I was set on a computer science degree at a reputable private university in Subang, but the fees were sky-high.
Initially, I tried working a few sales jobs, but with the low wages, I couldn’t save anything, let alone enough for 3 years’ worth of uni fees and expenses in KL.
One day, I was updating my dating profile when on a whim, I decided to post a picture with my leather and whip gear. Within one day, I received an insane amount of attention from hundreds of men.
I quickly realised that this persona drew men to me like moths to a flame. Armed with this newfound sense of empowerment, I realised that I had a valuable skill set that could be monetized.
I was intrigued by this mysterious world.
Set on my mission, I started meeting clients that wanted the unique experience of being with a dominatrix.
The response was overwhelming. Men from all walks of life wanted my attention, eager to explore their deepest desires under my guidance. With each session, I fetched a handsome fee of between RM800 to RM1500. Before long, I found myself on the fast track to financial independence.
But more than just financial gain, my journey as a dominatrix was a journey of self-discovery and empowerment. As I delved deeper into this intriguing world, I discovered a side of myself I never knew existed—a side that was powerful, confident, and unapologetically in control.
As a girl growing up in a conservative Malaysian family, you are always policed on what you should wear, how you should dress, and even act. Instead, my family and society tried to tell me what I should enjoy and what I should stay away from. I never felt like I had a chance to get to know my real personality, what I liked and didn’t like.
Now, I finally had the chance to figure myself out. So for me, this expression was me taking back control of my body. It was about reclaiming my agency and embracing my identity on my own terms, despite the societal stigma that surrounded my chosen profession.
I paid off all my tuition fees by myself.
For the next three years, I balanced the demands of my academic pursuits with the challenges of my unconventional career. Using this income, I helped my family pay rent every month, helped my sister with her education fees and took care of myself pretty well.
As I near the completion of my university education, I can proudly say that I have almost paid off all of my tuition fees—a testament to my hardwork and discipline.
Yes, it takes a lot of discipline to do this job. Sometimes, when you’re having a rough day, the last thing you feel like doing is entertaining some older man, yet, this is a job, and I trained my discipline over years.
That being said, I know this is not something I would want to do for years to come. It simply is a means to an end–the end of financial struggle, poverty, and distress. Once I graduate, I’m hoping to secure a job in tech, and with a few years of experience under my belt, I should be able to surpass my current income.
Not everyone would agree with my choices, but unless you’re paying my bills, it doesn’t matter to me.
My journey is far from over.
I know my journey in this life is just starting. While there are parts of it that not many will agree with, I don’t think it takes away from the success I have earned.
If there’s one lesson I’ve learned along the way, it’s that to truly achieve success, you have to overcome societal expectations and defy conventional norms.
So here’s to embracing who we are, unapologetically and without reservation. Here’s to carving out our own destinies and rewriting the narratives that society has imposed upon us.
And most importantly, here’s to never underestimating the power of self-discovery and authenticity. For in the end, it is our willingness to embrace a different path that truly sets us free.
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Also read: I Regret Losing My Virginity to a Sex Worker. Here’s What Happened
I Regret Losing My Virginity to a Sex Worker. Here’s What Happened
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