Disclaimer: In Real Life is a platform for everyday people to share their experiences and voices. All articles are personal stories and do not necessarily echo In Real Life’s sentiments.
The wedding day is arguably the most important day for an engaged couple. There is the wedding march, the ceremony where the lovebirds will exchange their vows, and the promises to love, honour, and cherish each other till death do them part.
But what happens when one of them gets cold feet and makes the crazy decision to run away?
Here are 4 stories from brides and grooms who were unceremoniously left abandoned at the altar:
Story #1. “He wanted a housewife, not a career woman.”
Jennifer was a woman working in engineering, a male-dominated field where she met her fiance.
After a few years of courtship, he proposed and the date was set. But just before the wedding, she was made unemployed due to corporate downsizing.
For Jennifer’s fiance, this didn’t pose an issue. “He had always assumed that I would become a housewife after we got married,” she shared.
On the morning of the wedding, Jennifer received an email offering her a dream job in Singapore. Excited, she shared the news with her fiance via WhatsApp.
“He was not thrilled,” Jennifer shared.
According to Jennifer, her fiance opposed her taking the job because it would mean having to change their plans to settle down in KL; he also had no plans to uproot himself to move to Singapore with her.
“We had a huge fight just before the ceremony where he gave me an ultimatum: Choose him or the job.”
In the end, Jennifer chose her job over him. During the ceremony, her fiance didn’t show up. She was left standing at the altar at her family’s church in Subang Jaya.
“He never spoke to me again. It was a crushing blow but I took it in stride, as best I could.” Jennifer packed up her life and moved to Singapore where she went on to have a career in engineering.
“My career flourished, and my personal life did recover!” Jennifer shared.
She has been in a steady relationship for the past 3 years. “No sign of a ring or wedding bells, but neither of us is in a rush towards that.”
Story #2. “Deep down, I knew I wasn’t ready.”
In the early 1990s, Azrul was in his early 20s and his then-girlfriend, future mother-in-law, and even his own mother were putting pressure on him to get engaged.
He eventually bucked under the combined pressure and proposed.
“Deep down, I knew I wasn’t ready, that she wasn’t the one,” he admitted.
But he thought perhaps all men got this feeling, so he ignored it and hoped that his feelings would change.
Azrul managed to negotiate a longer engagement to give him more time to think it over.
But after almost a year of wedding arrangements, his extended family started buying tickets and booking hotels in preparation for the date, and he still hadn’t mustered the courage to call it off.
The morning of the big day arrived. That’s when it all hit him like a ton of bricks: He realised that no matter if he was fulfilling his son’s obligation, if he did this, he would be ruining his life and hers.
Azrul sat down with his father and point-blank said, “I do not want to do this.” His father stared hard at him and realised that he was serious.
Thinking calmly, he told Azrul that he would take the responsibility of calling and informing all the guests, if Azrul took the initiative to tell his would-be bride and his mother immediately.
Azrul shared later, “I knew it was a bad bargain, but I took it.”
Suffice to say, the ensuing argument was the most gut-wrenching screaming match that, to this day, he still refuses to talk about.
Whatever was said was more traumatising than he wanted to reveal. He has been seeing a therapist and was prescribed anti-anxiety medication ever since.
Story #3. Police arrested the groom for abusing his fiancee
Putri Aiysah’s friend was getting married, and she was the maid of honour. While getting ready, she was the first one to hear the bride-to-be’s confession: That her fiance had been emotionally and physically abusing her.
The details were quite shocking, but suffice to say, it was enough for Putri to take action as a concerned friend.
That very night, Putri called her boyfriend, a police constable to explain the situation. He alerted his superiors, got some advice, and the groom-to-be was arrested first thing in the morning.
Needless to say, the chaos was of epic proportions as the father of the groom had to cancel the wedding, and then, under extreme pressure from the bride’s family, confess the truth to everyone invited.
It’s been 5 or 6 years now, and the friend is happier and more vivacious than before.
Part of that rediscovered confidence and strength comes from knowing she has family and friends that will back her up no matter what.
Story #4. “He ran away to play the slots in Genting.”
I can’t believe I was a part of this almost 15 years ago. A buddy of mine was going to marry a girl he had been with for years. He had some doubts but racked that up to just being nervous about the whole getting married thing.
The night before, during his bachelor’s party, Kevin had a few drinks (we all did) and then just broke down crying. He said he was making a mistake marrying her. We offered support (and coffee) and told him that it would work out just fine.
We’d been through a lot together since our secondary school days as a group, and he would have been the first to tie the knot. So while we told him that he didn’t have to if he didn’t want to, we did encourage him to go through with it. What else were we supposed to do?
The wedding rolled around and everything was in motion. Kevin was dressed for the part, standing at the altar in the church. It’s that proverbial “it” moment, just before the bridal march plays and she walks in, escorted by her father.
It was quiet. Kevin was standing there, literally sweating bullets. His hands were shaking, and I noticed that he was so pale it looked like he was going to pass out.
Kevin started rocking back and forth, and then suddenly made his move towards the side door of the church. We 5 groomsmen followed him, thinking he just needed a breath of fresh air.
Nope.
He got outside, headed straight to the parking lot, and hopped into the car rented for the occasion. All we could do was stare at him as he started the engine. He then said in this stone-cold, serious voice 5 words: “Get in if you’re coming.”
The next thing I knew, we’d driven up to Genting. His phone was about to melt from the near-endless stream of texts, WhatsApps, and calls. He just ignored it. After 3 days, I had no choice but to return to KL and my usual life by bus.
He did this deliberately, telling all of us, “You can tell them you last saw me in Genting at the casino.”
After that, he just straight up disappeared into thin air. I have heard from him since then, but only infrequently. I have no idea what he is doing nowadays. The last I heard he was working in Eastern Europe about 5 years ago.
As for the bride, she was devastated and remains convinced that we know something. I maintain that I knew something was wrong, but I still don’t know what. She moved on with her life and got married 5 or 6 years later, and none of us “co-conspirators” were invited to her wedding.
It doesn’t just happen on TV
Brides and grooms getting cold feet can and does happen. However, when it happens, there’s enough drama to produce movies and TV shows about this – proving that, sadly, art can imitate life instead of the other way around.
Do you know someone who was abandoned at the altar?
Share your experience with IRL.
Submit your story to this Google form or email us at hello@inreallife.my and you may be featured on In Real Life Malaysia!
Also read: How Much Should You Put In Your Angpau As A Guest At A Malaysian Wedding?
How Much Should You Put In Your Angpau As A Guest At A Malaysian Wedding?
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