Disclaimer: In Real Life is a platform for everyday people to share their experiences and voices. All articles are personal stories and do not necessarily echo In Real Life’s sentiments.
This story is about a Malaysian woman who decided to return to Malaysia after studying and working for over 10 years in the Netherlands.
Growing up in a suburban neighbourhood in Subang Jaya, every child grows up with dreams of furthering their studies overseas and exploring the world. Elders and relatives drill into us from a young age about universities and degrees to pursue. All for the sole reason of getting a PR in a western country, preferably the UK or Australia.
Ever since I was about 14 or 15, preparing for the PMR exams, I remember that my parents would drill into me the importance of getting straight As, which was so that I could get into science stream and get into a good university. With good grades I would be expected to get into a university overseas and work hard to get a job and subsequently a PR.
Like a sheep following the herd, I was a good follower. I earned top grades in SPM, went on to get into a good Pre-U, got accepted into a university in The Netherlands. I graduated in after my degree and shortly after found a job in the Dutch market.
Needless to say, my parents were proud of me, all my relatives congratulated me on securing a job and earning in Euros. However, after almost a decade of working in the Netherlands, I was just 6 months shy of the requirement before I could apply for the coveted PR when I made the life-altering decision to move back to Malaysia.
I was tired of being a foreigner
Living for almost 10 years outside of Malaysia, I was used to being the foreigner in the room. That didn’t bother me. What bothered me was the yearly visa approval anxiety. To obtain a visa in some countries, you’re required to either have a certain amount of money in your bank account or prove that you made a certain level of income to qualify for the visa.
The eternal doom as the date on my visa expiry got closer, my anxiety would rise. Would they approve of me this round? Would I have enough savings to meet the threshold? Would my job renew my visa as each year the governments made it less attractive for companies to hire foreign nationals?
I kept pondering over why I was trying so hard to be accepted in a country that didn’t want me. In a land of white people, the racist remarks were never blatant, but you could sense that they did not care for having a brown person in the room. The subtle discrimination was almost worse than the blatant remarks.
So why did I come back?
The Malaysian food of course
Every year when I came back for my yearly visit, I would write a list of all the food that I needed to eat. From Char Kuey Teow to Banana Leaf Rice, every cuisine in Malaysia was on my list. Whenever I visited, I tried to fit it all in within a span of 2-3 weeks!
Growing up eating rice, I had a hard time adjusting to European cuisine. There is only so much bread and potato that I could consume. None of the curries was spiced well enough, as the local restaurants had to adjust their recipe to tailor to the European palate.
If I had a craving for curry, I would have to dedicate up to 2 hours cooking, spending an astronomical amount of money on the ingredients, or end up ordering sub-par takeaway.
No one tells you the luxury of having access to a mamak in Malaysia. 24 hours of access to food that is cheap, tasty, and where you can spend hours hanging out with your friends? Sounds like the best life anyone can have, at least to me. Which brings me to my next point:
The mamak culture
I truly believe that Malaysia’s mamak culture is a golden cultural trait that can’t be replicated anywhere else. Occupying car parks and streets, an outdoor mamak makes a perfect hang out spot.
Regardless of class, economical status or culture, Malaysians gather at mamaks to unify as one nation. Whether it’s to watch the Malaysian badminton matches or the World Cup, we come together as one, next to a drain, feet up so the roaches and rats don’t make contact with our feet. A truly Malaysian experience that I sorely missed while I was away.
Western countries don’t have a hangout or “lepak” culture. You finish work at 5pm, maybe grab dinner with friends on the weekend at a restaurant, and go to a bar. Restaurants, cafes and stores closed early.
As someone who doesn’t enjoy drinking, it posed a problem as the bar was the only place open past 10pm. If you had a craving for a midnight snack, you better hope that you have food in your fridge.
Oh, Mr. Sun!
The weather in a cold climate country is very unforgiving. While I enjoyed watching the snow fall, I did not enjoy having to undress in the shower to take a bath. The cold would hit my butt the moment I sat down on the toilet and sent shivers right into my bones.
The heaters are never turned to an appropriate temperature because everyone is trying to save money on gas. So it would always be a few degrees colder than what an average Malaysian is used to. I would be wearing sweatpants and hoodies, complete with thick socks even while indoors. All I wanted to do was lounge in my sarong and be barefoot at home.
The sun was sparing in its shine. Peeking out for a few weeks every year. No one tells you that lack of sunlight can propel you into a depressive state, because the sun provides the essential Vitamin D. So I had to supplement with capsules instead.
The warmth of our people
In Malaysia, not only is the weather substantially warmer, so are the people. No matter where you are in Malaysia, people are generally friendly and willing to lend a helping hand.
In Europe, however, due to their individualistic nature, people mostly kept to themselves. They fulfilled their tasks and duties, and would not bother with helping anyone that they were not obligated to.
Another example of our warmth and energy is that I love the atmospheres of our markets. From morning markets, to pasar malam, or the yearly ramadan bazaar – our culture of gathering together for trade or just to makan-makan together, was a sense of kinship that I was missing.
In Europe, there isn’t a culture of “Hey lets go check out the Ramadan bazaar together” or go on a long adventure to Ipoh just to eat famous chicken rice. Everyone kept to themselves, had meals at home and you had to schedule a few weeks in advance to hang out with a friend.
Malaysia, my home
While many people move overseas for a better job prospect, I choose to believe that there are plenty of opportunities in Malaysia.
We are a very young country, just 67 years of independence. We are still developing, we are attractive to foreign investors and tourists alike and we have a rapidly growing digital economy.
I believe that Malaysia will be a key-player to world economic growth. More and more opportunities are coming to Malaysia, and I would like to be here as we mature and grow as a nation. At the very least, I want to contribute to the growth of the nation, in any which way I can.
That was something that tormented me the most as I was living in Europe. I knew that they did not need my skills, whereas Malaysia could benefit from my contribution.
I’ve been back for almost 5 years now, and I can wholeheartedly say that I’m happy with my decision, as controversial as it may be for some.
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Read also: “Malaysians Are Driven By Community,” Observes Sunny Sharma of Philip Morris Malaysia
“Malaysians Are Driven By Community,” Observes Sunny Sharma of Philip Morris Malaysia
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