Disclaimer: In Real Life is a platform for everyday people to share their experiences and voices. All articles are personal stories and do not necessarily echo In Real Life’s sentiments.
“I was dating this guy during the MCO. One thing led to another; I got pregnant. He didn’t want to have the baby, but I wanted to keep it. I offered him the choice of whether he wanted to stay or leave.
I told him that it’s not the kid’s fault; it was our fault that we created this mess. After one night, he told me he would keep the baby with me, but I didn’t know then that he was already with another girl.
One week after I delivered (my baby), I managed to guess his phone’s password. I was like, “Damn girl, you pandai siot”. It was his IC number.
But it broke my heart when I found out he was cheating on me. There was a video of him having sex with another girl who worked with him. He used to work as a barista, and she worked at a juice bar – that’s how they met.
There was a video of them having sex in her car, and when I checked the date of the video, it was created on the day I was delivering my baby.
It was a video in the “recently deleted” folder, and I was praying to God that it was a random sex tape he had downloaded or an old video. But he was wearing my sweater. I was in bed when I was going through his phone, and I went ‘Ah shit’, as he was sleeping right next to me while breastfeeding his baby.
I was shattered.
We got into a physical fight, and he even asked why didn’t she forgive him.
I had looked up to him as my father and respected him as a father; I loved him, I took care of him, and during that time, he didn’t have a job; I supported him. I was on maternity leave, earning RM2,000 a month, and we lived on that.
We slept in separate places for the next three days, and I could not bear to see his face. I saw that he still had not blocked her. Eventually, I got tired and told him to leave me if he wanted to continue with that other girl.
Eventually, he managed to improve, tried to support us and got a job. I still don’t trust him 1000%; right now, I’m only with him because of the baby. It’s all for the baby.
My apartment back then was on level 38, and I wanted to commit suicide. But what he would do was bring my baby right in front of me to remind me to live for her.
I told him I was going to leave. “I’ve already changed since the birth of our daughter. You have never changed,” I said.
I am terrified he might cheat on me; I am frightened he might mistreat me again. I am not the same person anymore.
And I’m still here, living for my baby. And still with him.”
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