Disclaimer: In Real Life is a platform for everyday people to share their experiences and voices. All articles are personal stories and do not necessarily echo In Real Life’s sentiments.
The thought of your spouse being unfaithful is one that most of us dread. But it seems to happen often. Some women might find this comforting, and some men feel like ghosts who haunt a new woman every day.
Not all husband cheaters are the same. There are many cases of when, where, and why these men cheat on their wives with other women.
It’s a topic that no one wants to talk about — but if you’re married, the chances are pretty high that your husband can cheat on you. Here are three real-life stories from Malaysian wives whose husbands have been unfaithful to them.
“My husband told me he was going to stay late at work when he was really going home to see his girlfriend.”
I found out about my husband’s affair last year when I found an email on his phone from the woman he was cheating with.
We had been struggling in our marriage for over a year, and this was the last straw. We talked about everything, what I wanted, what he wanted, and agreed we would take the time to work on our relationships.
It relieved me he didn’t want to work on our relationship anymore because that wasn’t an option for me, given what he had done.
I’ve heard many people say they can forgive their spouse if they’re working on their marriage, but that isn’t something I’m capable of right now.
I know it’ll be hard to move on with my life, and I’ll probably regret it. If I forgive him, I think I’d always have the what-ifs. What if we tried marriage counselling or what if we tried to work it out?
After I found out about his affair, I decided not to confront him because he had given me no reason for our problems, and the only thing he had done was an emotional affair.
I decided not to ruin his business or bring it up in court because I didn’t want him to win against me and wanted him to support himself without me.
Instead of going through with the divorce, I put off what was becoming a nasty divorce for three months while we worked through all our issues and while I was still trying to keep myself healed from what he had done.
Our divorce was finalized last week, and we’re moving forward as friends. We have agreed to be friends, but I really want this entire thing behind me. I feel that only by moving on will I can put our marriage and our relationship behind me.
I have forgiven him, but the truth is he needed to tell me everything before this happened. Once you actually know about something like that, you can’t un-know it.
“I found out my husband had been sexting a woman he met online, and they had slept together.”
I found out my husband had been sexting a woman he met online, and they had slept together. I was livid, devastated, and crushed.
But I wanted to share this experience with you because I know other people have felt the same way about their significant others cheating on them in this way.
It’s complicated because it wasn’t just one text or one time — it was hundreds of texts and at least 20 meetings that they had over a period of several months. It was an emotional affair, which is worse than a physical one.
When I found out about it, I was mad and hurt and devastated, but it took me a few days to even confront him about it because I was so hurt.
When I finally confronted him, he had already lost his job because the woman shared the text messages with his boss. He had lost his job, and he couldn’t get another one for several weeks.
He had no money coming in, and he still couldn’t pay his bills without my financial help. At first, he tried to deny it all — that there were any texts or anything physical at all.
He had the nerve to tell me that I was accusing him of being a “cheater” and that he didn’t do anything wrong.
He denied it, but I have all the texts — I could download them all from his phone after losing it because he started losing his job for not getting a new one.
I supported him when he asked for RM 2000 and would only give him half of that because, at that point, I was short on cash too.
After confronting him about it, I went through all of his texts again. It’s tough to find out exactly what happened in any illicit affair like this, let alone one that lasted several months.
But here’s what I know. I know he had at least 20 meetings with this woman, and they went out in public together. I know they were physically intimate. I found pictures of him with his shirt off on her phone that he’d sent her.
I don’t know exactly what happened the first time they had sex, but I’m almost positive it was when he asked me for money and told me he’d be gone for the weekend — just as I was moving to a new apartment.
He lied to me about where he was going and who he was going with. It seems like more than a coincidence that his phone stopped working the day before this weekend trip, too.
Here’s what I also know. After I confronted him about the photos and texts on his phone, he stopped talking to the woman. She said she didn’t want a relationship with him anymore and would call him if she needed money or anything.
He didn’t talk to her anymore after that. He gave me all the texts from her phone and the photos of them together, so I’ve got proof that it really happened.
I don’t know why he did this or whether there was any connection between our finances being in such an awful place, then or whether it was just an emotional affair between two people who fell in love. It doesn’t matter now.
Final thoughts
Cheating is something that some men seem to be tempted by, no matter how hard they try to resist the temptation.
Some may believe that they are “natural cheaters” who have a more hard time fighting their impulses than women, while others may feel guilty for cheating on their partner and will turn away from the opportunity.
While these stories don’t encourage people who cheat or condone it, they serve as a reminder of why couples need to discuss cheating before it becomes an issue and what can happen when they have been cheated on.
* The identities of the women and men in these stories are protected
For more stories like this, read: 4 Malaysians Share The Stories Behind Divorce – And It Wasn’t Because Of Cheating and “Why I Cheated On My Wife” – Malaysian Man Shares His Story Behind His Affair
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