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The popularity of the Alpha Male as a concept is attributed to internet personalities and men’s improvement podcasters who base their advice on these concepts. But do women actually care?
An image of a dark bespectacled Andrew Tate leers on the computer screen, rattling off arguments about what a man needs to embody to be an “alpha male”. The comment section, filled with hot-blooded young males, goes wild in agreement.
The “Alpha Male” is an ideology – at least for Tate and other male self-improvement coaches of his ilk – which describes the pinnacle of manhood.
In short, it’s a rhetorical pecking order in which men are categorised based on their personality and behavioural traits. It’s a general rule of thumb, that alphas are “supposedly” the most desirable.
Here is a list of the main categories:
- Alpha Male: Characterised as the leader of the pack, the head honcho, the Alpha Male is typically confident, assertive, competitive and with the strong ego to boot. He’s often financially successful and a risk-taker. Very protective of his loved ones, he fights for the people and things he believes in.
- Beta Male: The opposite of the alpha, the beta male is convivial and humble. He’s kind and empathetic to the plight of others and fiercely loyal once you have his respect. You can count on him to be there in your time of need.
- Gamma Male: The intellectual man, he lives in the balance of responsibility and adventure. Wonderfully humorous and witty, they can demand lots from themselves but can be empathetic and considerate towards others.
- Delta Male: The delta man is your average Joe who wants to be the best he can possibly be. He might not have high-flying ambitions or be the constant centre of attention, but people gravitate towards him because of his calming presence.
- Sigma Male: Completely non-conforming, the sigma male lives life by his own rules, a “lone wolf” in a sense.
For the people who subscribe to this ideology, this list seems to wholly dictate how they view the world and women.
In recent years, the popularity of this list can be attributed to the rise of internet personalities like Andrew Tate, the duo Fresh and Fit and other men’s improvement podcasters who base their thought processes and advice on these concepts.
In their proponents view, the books written on this are the law, and the words of these podcasters as sacred.
The pseudoscientific origins of the Alpha Male
“Alpha male”, “Beta male”, “Sigma male” and other types of males, are categories that were loosely inspired by the hierarchy observed in wolf packs.
This idea was based on studies conducted in the mid-1900s based on the behaviour of wolves bred in captivity. These wolves were strangers with no familial bonds, so a hierarchy would naturally arise to establish order, similar to the established order in human prisons.
However, newer studies have shown that wolf packs in the wild consist of a breeding pair and their multiple offspring, which means they are essentially small families.
But do women actually care?
Regardless of its scientific veracity, the idea of the alpha male has taken root in the consciousness of human society. This begs the question, do women truly care about this supposed hierarchy?
As a woman who frequently is in the company of other women, this topic hasn’t come up once in the multitude of our 5-hour conversations.
In reality, the concept of the male societal hierarchy is more popular among men than women. A brief look at Quora shows that women (on this site at least) couldn’t care less about this supposed social pecking order.
More often than not, the average woman would find the whole concept of it to be quite ridiculous.
Social dynamics between men and women have changed so much in the last 30 years, there isn’t a cookie-cutter template of an “attractive man” anymore.
Not all women are attracted to a man who’s overly dominant, and who possesses stereotypical male characteristics.
Look around in the media and you’ll see so many types of men who women find desirable. For example, some women are more attracted to men who are more “androgynous” in physique and personality. Case in point: K-pop idols, Harry Styles, and David Bowie.
Is the Alpha Male secretly a misogynist?
Unfortunately, these so-called “tips” are almost always rife with misogynistic tones.
The concept of “alpha-males” is code for “egotistic misogynist” in the books of many women, who see the concept as being massively flawed.
For example, it has given rise to the incel, red pill, and MGTOW movements. These mindsets have taken over how men, especially younger men, navigate their relationships with women.
Since their rise in popularity, it has revealed a regressive desire for more traditional gender roles, and the expectation of women to adhere to them. The movements themselves have given rise to serial murders and mass shootings.
Women are actually scared of men who call themselves alpha males
As such, in part due to the connection with these violent movements, men who subscribe to this ideology are viewed as a big turn-off and inherently suspicious.
In fact, women view men who describe themselves as alpha-males to be aggressive, unsafe, and annoying and would rather stay clear of them. It boils down to, If you have to call yourself an alpha male, you’re probably not one at all.
According to 26-year-old author Lilian Li, any man who categorises themselves in these categories are “glaring red flags”. She says, “I feel a bit of wariness to these kinds of men as they seem to have stereotyped themselves, like an easy and quick way to provide women context about them.”
The Alpha Male attempts to describe the perfect man, but misses out on key qualities
It is important to note that there is a difference between “alpha male” traits that have been touted by Tate’s lot versus the “alpha males” traits women are speaking about.
When women envision the ‘alpha male’ in their mind, they often describe favourable male traits like leadership, responsibility, kindness, integrity, confidence and being good protectors.
The alpha male is supposed to embody these traits, but a woman’s idea of an alpha male would also have traits like: Vulnerability, clear decision-making, open communication and emotional availability.
How women judge whether a man is good or right for them also depends on how he treats the women around them. Here’s a handy checklist:
- Does he have a good relationship with his mother?
- If he’s walking on a street with a woman – is he walking on the side closest to traffic?
- Is he there to lend a hand when a woman close to him needs help?
- Does he speak kindly about his exes?
These are some masculine traits that men like Tate may dismiss as “irrelevant” – but most women hold them in higher regard than what he espouses.
What matters most is how well men treat women
What matters is how men treat the women they are with.
Being understanding, communicative, being direct and clear about intentions, having confidence (not cockiness), being kind and having other wonderful traits are what women want and care about.
Whether or not you choose to identify yourself with these categories, the bottom line is – women don’t care about them. So let’s not adhere to flawed zoological research.
What do you think of this story?
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Read also: 5 Toxic Traits That Are Normalised In Malaysia’s Dating Scene
5 Toxic Traits That Are Normalised In Malaysia’s Dating Scene
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