Disclaimer: In Real Life is a platform for everyday people to share their experiences and voices. All articles are personal stories and do not necessarily echo In Real Life’s sentiments.
In 2017, I left Sabah and got on a plane for the first time in my life to further my studies -after SPM. I came to KL because it was the next best thing that my parents were okay with; I was craving space and more independence. I just felt like I needed to grow more as a person and explore my identity better.
An analogy I often use to describe it would be, imagine a bird locked in a cage its whole life, sheltered from the harsh realities but one day it gets released and it could finally taste freedom; liberating.
1. I got the “Welcome to Malaysia!” treatment
When I registered for college, a representative actually greeted me with “Welcome to Malaysia!” after telling them I was from Sabah! I knew there was a separation between the East and West – besides the extra postage shipping fees – but it was my first time experiencing it first-hand
I kind of fell sick during my first week in KL, my guess is because of the polluted air. You know how they always say that the air in the east is cleaner because we have more forest conservation and therefore less CO2 – if I dare say, we are cooler, have you been to Kundasang lately?
2. I love taking the LRT, it’s like a calm rollercoaster ride
After coming to KL, I was intrigued by everything, the LRT was extra fascinating! The infamous train we have in Sabah is an one-way steam engine train, I didn’t get a chance to ride it myself because I never really had any reason to, but I shall soon! I want to reconnect with my roots and explore my hometown more.
3. You think we live on trees? Well, we generalize the whole west Malaysia and call it “KL”
Here’s me on a tree (ironically) when I escaped to Manukan Island without telling my parents!
Sabah is known for our tourism, so I think we subconsciously are (generally) friendly people. Funny enough, I’ve actually had tourists knocking on my car window while I was stuck in traffic back home to ask for directions.
We are stereotypically known as very chill people. My dad has this inside joke he tells during a traffic jam if someone is honking with road rage, “confirm from KL!” because most east Malaysians wouldn’t be honking when stuck in a jam, we just chill in the car and listen to the radio.
4. “I found myself” after living on my own
A lot of people have told me I don’t look like a typical East Malaysian, with the crazy coloured hair and how I dress nowadays; they wouldn’t have guessed I was Sabahan until I started speaking Malay – because even then there are subtle differences that are a giveaway. So whenever I went back home, many would put the blame on the environmental influence, “living in the concrete jungle has changed her” they would assume.
I think there’s a stigma back home when it comes to these things, juxtaposition of social norms would not be accepted easily -as with other Asian countries. I get judged silently walking around the streets back home with my (now) blue-purple hair, and even today my mum would make me change my clothes if it were showing too much skin. They also don’t trust me to drive on my own (even after I’ve told them I’ve driven in KL before), I need to be supervised when wanting to drive around back home.
I can understand how parents will always be worried about their children. My mum especially, after growing up and having been taught conservational values -then their daughter returns home being more liberal instead, must’ve been a shock to them. Religion, on the other hand, is too not much of a taboo in the east. It is not uncommon to find Muslims to have tattoos, keep dogs as pets, and there are delicious Chinese-Muslim restaurants.
5. I felt more accepted in KL than I did back in my own home
City-life is known to be more modern and forward-thinking, generally speaking. I remember meeting plus-sized models and thought to myself “Wow, I wish I’d seen more of this body acceptance growing up!”
Maybe it’s just me being insecure, but Sabahans typically have smaller body sizes, and I’m more “bigger sized” than my cousins, so I’ve always found it difficult to be comfortable in my own skin on top of the fatphobia that is nothing new. But I was fortunate enough to meet people and expand my circle; made a lot of friends who are so supportive and thus made me feel more accepted after moving to KL.
One of the things that were a pleasant surprise is the emphasis on mental health awareness in the city. I was provided with resources and links to centres that provide mental health services here. I’m not sure if Sabah has or had any because it didn’t cross my mind to look, but I’m blessed to have been raised in a family that understands the importance of mental health.
6. Homesickness; distance makes the heart grow fonder
Of course, I always find myself missing home. I live on the coast, so the beach is about a 10-minute drive away. I didn’t go to the beach often because it was right there, I could go whenever I wanted. But while I was at KL, I would often find myself feeling homesick every now and then, desperately craving the feel of sand between my toes, feeling the ocean breeze as the waves lap the shore. The nearest beach was PD which was an hour drive away and we all know that can’t compare.
When I was craving some traditional Kadazan food, I couldn’t find any bambangan or ambuyat in KL, not forgetting tarap too! West Malaysians aren’t even familiar with the names unless they’ve visited East Malaysia and tried our local delicacies.
I didn’t meet a lot of east Malaysians either, for most of my secondary school classmates, If they’re not studying back home in Sabah or Sarawak, they’re usually either privileged enough to study overseas, or they don’t consider themselves east Malaysians because they migrated and grew up in KL.
I love Sabah with everything in me, but I wouldn’t recommend anyone to find work here unless you want to live that chill -somewhat cottage core, minimalistic- life. It is a great place to spend your retirement though.
For more stories like this, read: Orang Asli in Sabah Are Surviving The Pandemic With Homegrown Food and 5 Things Living in the Sarawak Jungle Has Taught Me About Surviving Isolation
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