Disclaimer: In Real Life is a platform for everyday people to share their experiences and voices. All articles are personal stories and do not necessarily echo In Real Life’s sentiments.
Having neighbours is part and parcel of life. Hopefully, we get good neighbours we can get along with and form friendships to build that true Malaysian neighbourhood spirit of support and care that makes everything easier.
Unfortunately, sometimes, we wind up with the neighbours that might have arisen from hell itself. Here is a selection of stories of how Malaysians have dealt with the nuisance neighbours to teach them a lesson:
1. Combating dog poop with beef stock
My neighbour had three dogs, and those dogs had the run of the garden and would just do their business there. Naturally, in the heat that would start to stink very quickly!
We tried talking to them for weeks but they refused to do anything about it, so I waited, and one day it happened: it rained so bad that there were floods in parts of KL and Chow Kit!
So when the rains began to die down, I took some beef stock powder and purposely hurled handfuls of the powder all over the grass in their front yard and driveway. The dogs went crazy immediately, running around trying to find the meat, and of course, got completely muddy and sticky… and stinky.
My neighbours across the road could hear the screaming as the filthy dogs ran into the house and, no doubt, created a terrible mess!
2. I made my neighbour repaint his BMW
Puan Zaiton had this to say about her anti-social and permanently angry neighbour from 20 years ago: “He would yell at my children when they were just playing in our front garden in the evenings or on weekends. And he even complained about the swing that was built in our garden because the tree branch was from a tree in his garden!”
He forced us to take the swing down (and we did), disappointing my children, so I waited. He liked to park his car under the tree for shade, and so I waited until I knew he would be away for a few days on business. That’s when I threw handfuls of breadcrumbs and birdseed into the tree, and onto his car.
The result? His car was absolutely covered in bird poop by the time he came home. And apparently, bird poop is actually quite corrosive and had damaged the paint on his car. He was without his precious BMW for a week while it was repainted!
3. My son used his tech skills to make our horrible neighbours move away
The house next to mine was the house of terror in our neighborhood. They had people over at all hours of the day and night with cars parked haphazardly everywhere. Loud parties were common till late at night. There were fights and shouting at least once a week.
They moved away in the end, and it was because of what my son did. He was a pretty smart kid, and somehow figured out that their wifi password was the default “admin1234.” So he logged in, changed settings, and added something so that he would always know what their password was.
The Unifi and even Telekom people couldn’t figure out what the problem was because my son was at home all the time due to the pandemic. So when he saw their vans, he would make sure everything was working normally.
Because they could not get a reliable internet connection, and nobody could fix the problem, the neighbours moved out a few months later.
I get a bit nervous whenever my son starts tinkering with technology now.
4. My neighbour was unnecessarily mean about parking in front of her house, even for a very short period of time
I live across the street from one of the local parks. This means that there is very little parking available on the street because all the kids and families come here to exercise and use the park facilities which include BBQ pits, playground, and jungle gym.
My neighbour is very passive-aggressive about people parking in front of her house. She goes as far as to leave handwritten notes underneath your wipers that you are not allowed to park in front of her house because that is “my legal parking spot! NOT YOURS!”
Obviously, this means that we really don’t get along at all because one day she came banging on my front door, demanding that my visiting mother move her car immediately, otherwise my neighbour would get her car towed!
Source: reinventingparking.org
My mother moved her car to avoid an incident with my neighbour, but I now periodically sprinkle fresh canned tuna in her front garden when she isn’t at home. Ever since she regularly has a group of cats at her front gates, in her garden, and at her front door sniffing for food.
5. My neighbour refused to use the rubbish bin for no reason!
Source: Emaze
For a while, our neighbourhood had a stray cat and dog problem, and I had some neighbours that used to leave their garbage out in plastic bags by the roadside instead of putting it in the proper rubbish bin. That was basically inviting every stray animal in the area to come and have a feast.
For several weeks, there was garbage strewn all over the neighbourhood. If the strays didn’t spread the trash, the wind sometimes picked it up and blew it into our gardens and it was so bad that there were drains getting clogged by the mess.
When we approached our neighbor and asked him politely to put his garbage in the bin, he politely told us to “go f*ck (ourselves).”
He continued leaving his garbage lying around and the local vermin (outside of the cats and dogs, we had a serious crow problem) were getting fat! After a few days, the entire street looked apocalyptic.
I don’t know who coordinated the effort, but suddenly, there were police, fire department, health inspectors in our street, going door to door, interviewing people, and asking questions. I think everyone was unanimous in citing the source of the problem as being that one guy, at that one house.
I heard that he had to pay a very hefty saman for all the trouble he caused, and he moved out a few months later because the whole neighbourhood was united against him.
The relationship between neighbours can indicate a lot about the health of our community
We should be doing our best to get along with our neighbours, but sometimes, when you are incapable of loving thy neighbour, and there is no settling your differences, petty revenge might just be the way to get some satisfaction, and possibly convince them to move!
For more stories like this, read: Malaysians Who Have Worked In Hotels Share Some Juicy Experiences That Guests Will Never Hear About, A Malaysian Debate: Car Drivers VS Motorcyclists – What The H*ll Is Wrong With YOU?, and Affairs, Secret Adoptions & Surprise Siblings: Malaysians Share Their Family Secrets.
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