Disclaimer: In Real Life is a platform for everyday people to share their experiences and voices. All articles are personal stories and do not necessarily echo In Real Life’s sentiments.
This story is about Jules, a 23-year-old single mother who became a sugar baby to give her son a better future.
When she sat down for the interview with IRL, Jules was dressed to the nines. Her dark-grey room was sparsely decorated except for the gifts: Handbags from Louis Vuitton and Dior.
At 23, Jules had on a persona of vivacity and freshness. But unlike college-going women her age, behind the fresh-faced persona was a glint of steely resolve. She had a plan for her own future, and she was going to do whatever it took to achieve it.
But why? For Jules, it is all for her son.
Jules’ parents were in prison for most of her childhood
Born in a lower-income neighbourhood, Jules came from a rough background. Often in and out of prison, her parents were absent for most of her childhood. She was raised by her grandmother and great-aunt.
When she was 15, she dropped out of school and bounced between various temp jobs: receptionist, accounts admin, salesgirl, and even being a dental assistant.
Working from such a young age gave her insight into the long-gruelling hours of the working world. It awakened an entrepreneurial passion in her to start her own brand called the FairyOddCollection (@fairyoddcollection).
“I created my products myself,” she says, showing me her IG page. “I’d make things like body butter and glow-in-the-dark lip gloss, and source the ingredients online.”
But then fate threw a monkey wrench into her plans. She got pregnant by her boyfriend, who then left her to fend for herself.
Challenges of raising a child as a single mother
“It was 4 years ago. I was with an on-and-off boyfriend at the time. When I got pregnant, he ran off. He said he didn’t want to support the kid.”
Faced with the challenge of raising a child alone, Jules was in a pickle. Her parents were in jail, and her grandmother didn’t have an income, so she had no one to support her.
“When I brought him home, I didn’t even know how to feed him!” There was nobody she could approach for advice on being a single mother, so she did tons of research on the internet.
“It’s costly to raise a kid. In my first year, the milk came up to RM600 every month.”
So Jules began juggling between 3 jobs: A 9-to-5 admin job by day, a part-time promoter role at night, and her own online cosmetic side hustle on the weekends. At one point, she was working 72 hours a week while her grandmother took care of the baby.
The toll it took on her body was starting to show. “I started being too tired to keep up, especially a 12-hour shift with no sleep,” she says.
How Jules got into the world of sugar dating
Images provided by Jules via Sugarbook.
Jules was introduced to sugar dating by a friend who heard about her financial situation. Initially, she was scared, but she decided to give it a try.
“It wasn’t easy in the beginning. There were some awkward dates, because I’m actually an introvert. But after a while, you just decide to go big or go home.”
Jules met and clicked with two men in their 40s, who became her “Sugar Daddies”. In exchange for dinner dates, they would pay her up to thousands of ringgit to be their girlfriend-for-hire.
Sometimes, they would send her gifts – a Dior or LV handbag, or a few hundred ringgit – and they didn’t expect anything in return.
“One is single, one is divorced with a kid,” she said. “They rant to me about their problems at work, and I listen.”
Nowadays, when Jules meets sugar daddies, she is very clear about stating her boundaries upfront. Although most men are looking for intimacy, she only goes for platonic dates.
“I go for men who are clear-cut about their intentions. If I can’t vibe with someone, it’s just a fake mask. As long as they stick to a clear set of values, we can vibe the entire day,” she explained.
While this weeds out most of the men on the dating site, it makes for a more authentic experience for Jules.
Jules was able to fund her aunt’s cancer treatments
Jules shares that ever since she started this service, she’s achieved significant milestones. “From working a 9-to-5, now I can sleep at whatever time I want. I don’t have to do OT, I don’t have to face boss.”
After earning over RM 20,000, she quit her temp job at the dentist, and put in more time into her online business.
She also used a portion to pay for her great-aunt’s chemotherapy. “When my aunt got diagnosed with cancer, her insurance provider said, no, we’re not gonna cover you. So I paid for her treatments.”
Jules is grateful that she was able to save her great-aunt with her income from being a sugar baby.
“When I first started, I used to feel people might judge me for doing Sugar Baby work. But if not, my aunt wouldn’t still be here. So I have no regrets.”
Being a sugar baby has taught Jules the importance of hustling and taking opportunities where you can find them. “If there’s anything I can do to hustle, I will just do it,” she says.
Jules hopes to secure a stable future for herself and her son
“When I first started this, I was really scared. But look at my life, it’s doing better than before,” she added. “There are good and bad people, but if you meet the right kind of people, you will get the kind of life you want for yourself.”
“At one point, I did blame myself at some point for how I turned out, but eventually, I stopped caring any more. I realised, I can’t keep blaming myself for what happened. I had to think of my son.”
Jules looked serious when she said this. Underneath the bubbly exterior and the glitzy dresses, she confided in me her real reason for being a sugar baby.
“I don’t want my kid to turn out like me. I want them to have a good education and have a happy life,” she shared.
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Read also: I Saved RM48,000 as an Online Sugar Baby to Pay for My Father’s Hospital Bills
I Saved RM48,000 as an Online Sugar Baby to Pay for My Father’s Hospital Bills
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