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“It’s me, hi, I’m the problem, it’s me.”
A Malaysian doctor who decided to quit 2 years ago following a mental breakdown – that’s me.
2 years ago, amidst the pandemic and existing toxic culture within Malaysia’s Ministry of Health a.k.a Kementerian Kesihatan Malaysia (KKM), I finished my housemanship. I was extremely burned out, depressed, stressed and anxiety-ridden.
When I found out I was to be sent to Sabah, my heart sank. I’m a Semenanjungite, and I wanted to stay in the hospital I did my housemanship in.
With no chance of appealing, I decided to resign from my career to take a career break. It was a tough decision, because that would mean leaving my compulsory service as a doctor incomplete.
In Malaysia, and perhaps only in Malaysia, doctors are forced to submit themselves for 4 years of governmental servitude, 2 years for training as houseman, and 3 years as a medical officer.
I had cleared my housemanship successfully without extensions, but could not proceed to medical officership because I had a breakdown from overwork.
I spent more than RM10,000 for psychological therapy, and I had to take loads of antidepressants and sleeping aids. The trauma left by the toxic culture took years for me to stabilize and recover from.
After a 2-year break, I reapplied to come back to the workforce, but received a slap in the face
Image via Alex Liew from Getty Images
Now, after 2 years, I once again attempted to complete my servitude in KKM and applied to come back to the workforce, only to be told “We don’t want you.”
I felt that instant slap in the face. My blood boiled. And I’ve never felt so helpless and hopeless as a doctor pursuing a decent medical career in Malaysia.
The Malaysian Medical Council (MMC), who pride themselves on being an independent private body, requires Malaysian doctors to complete their servitude to the government in order to retain their registration to the council.
This means being recognised as a doctor in Malaysia requires being listed and registered with the MMC.
Apart from being able to practice which requires a valid Annual Practicing Certificate (APC), it requires 4 years of slavery with KKM.
I was reassured that there would be a path to return to the MOH, but they lied
Image via Twitter
So what does this mean for doctors who don’t complete their servitude?
De-registration from MMC. I will no longer be recognised as a doctor in Malaysia, apart from not being able to practice.
2 years ago when I resigned from KKM, I made sure to examine my path to return before resigning.
I was assured that I can reapply later based on the demand for doctors.
Fast forward 2 years, with this saga of contractual doctors struggling with KKM to get permanent residency, there is a serious percentage of medical officers leaving the government hospital.
There is a serious risk of our national healthcare system collapsing.
I thought it would be a good chance to reapply. But boy was I wrong.
Attempts to reapply yielded back in a hard slap in the face.
They (KKM) told me that they do not have a policy to hire medical officers other than their pool of current housemen. And rehiring a doctor who resigned is even more impossible.
Being a doctor in Malaysia is truly a bad investment
Image via Canva
I felt betrayed by this country.
After the amount of toxicity KKM has put me through, after all the trauma and therapy and buttloads of drugs I have to take because of KKM, I’m greeted with… “Well, it’s your problem.”
Now facing the risk of de-registration and no longer being recognised as a doctor, I have no way of getting back into practice. At least not in Malaysia.
I’ve suffered ample times at the hands of KKM. And when I decided to prioritize myself and take a break, I am greeted back with, “That sounds like a you-problem.”
In a failing healthcare system led by ministry of healthcare failures, I feel sorry for the upcoming aspiring doctors who had to submit themselves to this torture.
I feel sorry for the ones that are already in this cycle of endless torture with a bleakness in their career.
Most of all, I feel sorry for the public who relies on government healthcare, with more doctors quitting and less being hired or rehired…you risk a collapsing system, you risk your life or your family’s life staying in an overwhelmed and understaffed hospital where you could not get optimal care.
Where no one is free enough to notice you’re breathless by the corner of the ward. Where your pain is prolonged because you have to wait for the overwhelming emergency center.
And most of all, I’m sorry to say this to the young ones who even have an idea to study medicine to be a Malaysian doctor…. Just don’t do it.
Do you have a personal story? Email us at hello@inreallife.my
For more stories like this, read: https://inreallife.my/5-reasons-why-doctors-in-malaysia-are-being-overworked/ and https://inreallife.my/exploited-malaysian-doctors-are-going-on-strike-and-heres-why/
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