Disclaimer: In Real Life is a platform for everyday people to share their experiences and voices. All articles are personal stories and do not necessarily echo In Real Life’s sentiments.
I’m a Chinese man of Baba Nyonya descent in my early 30s who just got married to my better half a few months ago. Our wedding was small, attended only by our most important friends and family members.
Naturally, this is the first time I am obligated to give out angpau. My wife, who is non Chinese, and I managed to work out a really good system for our angpau giving!
“Hello, random child, you get RM5!”
On the first day of Chinese New Year, I will give my parents RM100 – 200. It depends on what our financial situation looks like, of course. Obviously, I’d give them more if I could.
My siblings will get half of what my parents get. So anywhere between RM50 – 100.
Close relatives will be given between RM10 – 50, depending on how close we are. Extended relatives will be given RM10.
And random kids who just so happen to be there at the reunion (friends of my nieces/nephews/younger cousins, I assume) will be given around RM5 – 10 each.
Angpau packet system
I collect and buy different angpau packets leading up to the New Year. The reason for this is so that I can easily pick out which angpau goes to which person.
This is what my system looks like in practice:
- Longer packets contain RM50
- Shorter packets contain RM10
- Super fancy angpau packets contain RM50 or more, depending on how atas they look
- Angpau packets made of cheaper materials contain RM5
With this system in place, all I have to do is determine how close the recipient is to me and I can immediately give them the correct angpau amount without fumbling or having to double check.
Pretty neat, huh?
Crisp, new notes always
I make sure that the notes in my angpau packets are always nice and crisp – brand new notes that smell fresh.
I make the effort to go to the bank to get them, or I keep my ears open for any aunty exclaiming that a certain ATM is dispensing these nice new notes.
It’s really nice to go the extra mile to show someone I value and appreciate them, and that I really do wish them all the luck and prosperity.
It helps to have arrangements with my siblings too
We have this agreement that we will match the angpau given to our (future) children. So if my brother gives my child(ren) RM50, that is what I will give his child(ren) too.
That way, no money is “lost” by either side.
It’s possible to give more than the agreed amount. For example, if I give my brother’s kid RM75 (more than the agreed upon amount of RM50), it’s up to my brother whether he wants to match it or top it. The reasoning is like, “hey, I know you’re giving my kid RM50 but I’m giving yours more because I like your kid a lot”.
It really helps to clear this up ahead of time, so that nobody feels slighted.
I’m avoiding meeting Cantonese families this year
Different types of Chinese families might have different views and traditions regarding angpau giving. All I know is what my family grew up with.
My parents weren’t as well-off as I am now, so their angpau amounts were about half of mine, and sometimes even less. I feel really fortunate to be where I am now.
However, I have heard that newly married couples have to give double the angpau money if they follow Cantonese practices! It’s supposed to spread the joy of having just gotten married – double happiness or something, if I’m not mistaken.
So yeah, I’m avoiding meeting any Cantonese families right now. It’s a good thing I can cite the ongoing pandemic as a reasonable excuse!
I think of angpau giving as a community thing – reinforcing the bonds of tradition, family (chosen and biological), and love
Like I said before, I truly feel lucky to be financially stable and to have met a wonderful woman that I’m proud to call my wife. I don’t resent the duty of giving out angpau now that I’m married.
In a way, it represents the circle of life.
For more stories like this, read: Chinese New Year: Time For Annoying Questions From Your Uncles & Aunties – Why Do They Do That?, “Wah, you so fat now” And Other Things Malaysians Need To Stop Saying At Social Functions, and Planning a Chinese Malaysian Wedding? Here’s How Much It Costs.
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