Disclaimer: In Real Life is a platform for everyday people to share their experiences and voices. All articles are personal stories and do not necessarily echo In Real Life’s sentiments.
The most important day for an engaged couple has arrived: the wedding day! Cue the wedding march and the ceremony where the lovebirds will exchange their vows and then promise to love, honour, and cherish each other till death do them part.
While the love and romance can die prematurely, leading to divorce, sometimes the marriage does not get that far: here are stories from those runaway brides and grooms who walked away from their wedding or were walked away from and left hanging.
1. I realised I couldn’t do this
In the early 1990s, Azrul was in his early 20s and his then girlfriend, future mother-in-law, and even his own mother were putting pressure on him to get engaged. He eventually cracked and proposed.
Deep down he knew he wasn’t ready, that she wasn’t the one, but thought perhaps all men got this feeling so he ignored it and hoped that his feelings would change. He managed to snag a long engagement but after almost a year of wedding arrangements, extended family started buying tickets and booking hotels.
The morning of the big day arrived and it all hit him like a ton of bricks: that if he did this he would be ruining his life and hers. That’s when he realised that he couldn’t do it.
Azrul sat down with his father and point-blank said, “I do not want to do this.” That was the end of the matter. His father told him that he would take the responsibility of calling all the guests If he told his “bride” and his mother immediately.
Azrul admits it was a devil’s bargain and he took it. Suffice to say that it was the most gut-wrenching screaming match from hell that he still refuses to talk about. Whatever was said, I think was more traumatising than he ever wanted to reveal. He has been seeing a therapist and was prescribed anti-anxiety medication ever since.
2. He wanted a housewife, not a career woman
My fiance left me at the altar and has never spoken to me again. As a woman in a male-dominated field (engineering), he had always assumed that I would become a housewife after we got married and I got pregnant.
I was unemployed when our wedding happened; I was a victim of corporate downsizing. It was on the morning of the wedding when I received an email, offering me what was back then my dream job in Singapore. I shared the news with my fiance via WhatsApp and he was not thrilled.
I was left, standing at the altar at my family’s church in Subang Jaya and he just… never showed up. It was a crushing blow but I took it in stride, as best I could. I packed up my life and moved.
My career flourished, and my personal life did recover! I have been in a steady relationship for the past 3 years. No sign of a ring or wedding bells, but neither of us is in a rush towards that.
3. The police got involved
Source: New Straits Times
Putri Aiysah’s friend was getting married, and as the maid of honour, she was the first one to hear the bride-to-be’s confession: that her fiance had been emotionally and physically abusing her.
That very night, Putri called her then-boyfriend who was a police constable to explain the situation. His reaction was immediate: he alerted his superiors, got some advice and the groom-to-be was arrested first thing in the morning.
Needless to say, the chaos was of epic proportions as the father of the groom had to cancel the wedding, and then, under extreme pressure from the bride’s family, confess the truth to everyone invited.
It’s been 5 or 6 years now, and the friend is happier and more vivacious than before. I think part of that rediscovered confidence and strength comes from knowing she has family and friends that will back her up no matter what.
4. My buddy ran away from his wedding… and I went with him
I can’t believe I was a part of this almost 15 years ago. A buddy of mine was going to marry a girl he had been with for years. He had some doubts but racked that up to just being nervous about the whole getting married thing.
The night before, during his bachelor’s party, Kevin had a few drinks (we all did) and then just broke down crying. He said he was making a mistake marrying her. We offered support (and coffee) and told him that it would work out just fine.
We’d been through a lot together since our secondary school days as a group, and he would have been the first to tie the knot. So while we told him that he didn’t have to if he didn’t want to, we did encourage him to go through with it. What else were we supposed to do?
The wedding rolled around and everything was in motion. Kevin was dressed for the part, standing at the altar in the church. It’s that proverbial “it” moment, just before the bridal march plays and she walks in, escorted by her father.
It was quiet. Kevin was standing there, literally sweating bullets. His hands were shaking, and I noticed that he was so pale it looked like he was going to pass out.
Kevin started rocking back and forth, and then suddenly made his move towards the side door of the church. We 5 groomsmen followed him, thinking he just needed a breath of fresh air.
Nope.
He got outside, headed straight to the parking lot, and hopped into the car rented for the occasion. All we could do was stare at him as he started the engine. He then said in this stone-cold, serious voice 5 words: “Get in if you’re coming.”
The next thing I knew, we’d driven up to Genting. His phone was about to melt from the near-endless stream of texts, WhatsApps, and calls. He just ignored it. After 3 days, I had no choice but to return to KL and my usual life by bus.
He did this deliberately, telling all of us, “You can tell them you last saw me in Genting at the casino.”
After that, he just straight up disappeared into thin air. I have heard from him since then, but only infrequently. I have no idea what he is doing nowadays. The last I heard he was working in Eastern Europe about 5 years ago.
As for the bride, she was devastated and remains convinced that we know something. I maintain that I knew something was wrong, but I still don’t know what. She moved on with her life and got married 5 or 6 years later, and none of us “co-conspirators” were invited to her wedding.
It doesn’t just happen on TV
Brides and grooms getting cold feet can and does happen. However, when it happens, there’s enough drama to produce movies and TV shows about this – proving that, sadly, art can imitate life instead of the other way around.
For more stories like this, read: 4 Malaysians Share The Stories Behind Divorce – And It Wasn’t Because Of Cheating, 5 Toxic Traits That Are Normalised In Malaysia’s Dating Scene, and From Compromise To Disagreements Without Drama: Malaysians Share The Green Flags They Want To See In Relationships.
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