Disclaimer: In Real Life is a platform for everyday people to share their experiences and voices. All articles are personal stories and do not necessarily echo In Real Life’s sentiments.
“Putri Farah” has just a few days left in her visit to Malaysia before she has to fly back to Las Vegas where her life is. By day she works in advertising and creative multimedia. But four nights a week, she flaunts it and bares all under the stage name “Princess Joy” on the Las Vegas Strip.
Yes, her second job is as an exotic dancer, commonly known as a stripper.
When we met up for drinks last week, Ms. PuiYi Penthouse got an honorable mention. Putri laughed and exclaimed, “She wouldn’t last a night on the pole!”
I proposed an interview about that second job. She agreed, and here we are.
Let’s start with the obvious: tell us a little about yourself.
Well, I can tell you a bit about me but not too much. I’m a Malaysian-American through my father and mother’s side respectively. Obviously, I call Malaysia my home because that’s where my family is. I just live, work and play in the United States most of the time.
I started doing dance as a hobby and fitness thing in university. The closest dance school taught pole dancing, so I signed up, then expanded my skill set to include heels, chair dance, the works.
Then one of the other girls in the class – Erin – mentioned that there was an opening where she worked part-time and that I already had the necessary showgirl skills to make money while doing something I enjoyed.
I figured why not and she took me under her wing so to speak and suddenly I had a job, 3-4 nights/afternoons/evenings a week and I was making a lot of money.
Given the home life you’ve described, the supportive parents, and everything else, the most obvious question: Why work in something so… exotic? And how do I refer to your second job?
Just call it what polite society calls it: I’m a dancer. As to the why, the short answer? Money. Long answer? Lots of money.
Being a dancer has long been seen as a job for people that have no other choice. The truth is that you can make a lot of money as long as you’re careful. That applies to practically every job out there.
I’d be lying if I said there were days when I hated it, was frustrated, and even angry about something that happened at the job. But again, this is every job out there.
Yes, the risks are greater than many other jobs like with the easy access to drugs and alcohol. But senior corporate management also has those problems.
Do the job, and don’t let it eat away at you. It is an honest job, making honest money that you can be proud of, leaving your self-respect and dignity intact.
Personally, I have a college degree and the capacity to work a “real job.” But even working full time, I won’t make as much as I do now, and I generally have three days off a week. It’s not just the money but also the freedom.
I dance part-time but I also keep a foot in the corporate world and float around doing some freelance stuff as well. This way I’ve got plenty of options.
Options are great to have. What are your options if your parents or family somehow find out? Would the consequences be dire?
Between my parents, my father would take it way worse than my mother. He would never be able to show his face around his local community again.
My mother has always been supportive – very supportive – and I suspect that she knows. But we’re all playing the “you don’t know that I know that you think I know” game.
Of course, I don’t intend to tell them about it, ever. Just to avoid complications – especially since my life is mostly abroad.
My life, my choice.
Source: Matthew Hinton
Fair enough. Your life, your choices. Before we get into the nitty-gritty, maybe you can explain a few things to us. What’s the difference between a full nudity bar vs a topless-only club?
Having worked in both types of clubs, neither type will allow you to touch a dancer. “18+ clubs” are typically full nudity but they’re not allowed to serve alcohol. Some will let you bring your own.
The dancers are 18, 19, 20, or 21 but then again so is the crowd. You can expect a heavier security presence because the dancers and the crowd are all younger and dumber. The hours are just as long and, in my view, the work environment tends to be worse.
“21+ clubs” are topless but have full bar service. Security tends to be a little bit more relaxed in terms of physical presence, but there are cameras everywhere, and the bouncers pretty have much carte blanche to protect the dancers and the club.
My personal opinion is that you are always going to have a better time with the latter because pole skill matters. You get the kind of moves and performances and tricks from dancers that will amaze and impress.
In line with the previous question, the waitress versus the dancer, these are two different people doing two different jobs right?
That’s something movies get wrong about half the time. In real life, it’s two people doing two very different jobs.
If you’re in a strip club, please don’t hit on or flirt with the waitresses. They get not just a salary but also a tip out from the bar pool.
We only get what we make at the table and from the customers directly – whether it’s from tricks on the pole, G-Spots (which will be explained later on), any kind of private dance, or the Champagne Room experience.
If you’re flirting with the waitresses, you are the potential cause of some serious hostility between the waitresses and dancers.
Source: Getty Images
Speaking of hostility, does this mean that there are actual fights between dancers? Between waitresses and dancers?
Where there are people, there is the potential for conflict. Add in the stress, and fatigue, having to deal with loud, boorish, possibly drunk individuals for between 5-10 hours a day, and you do get the occasional spat behind the curtain.
It’s like any other work environment in that we all know each other well enough, are supportive, and can and do lean on each other for support. This is one of the “careers” where what happens at work stays at work.
I’ve bumped into other dancers on the street, and it’s an unspoken rule that we act like we don’t know one another.
But knock-down-drag-out-free-for-all-slobber-knocker-brawls with guests or between dancers or employees have never happened where I work. Other places… who can say?
In the context of your job, what is a G-Spot?
Getting hit on by a customer who wants to buy us a drink is part of the job. Every club has something like the G-Spot or PornStar Shot. It’s a non-alcoholic drink that staff can order whenever a customer wants to buy us a drink.
Staff order these so we don’t get drunk on the job. Also, these are way overpriced – about twice the price of a regular shot because we get a commission on each one sold.
Nobody likes a drunk dancer or drunk waitress… except for the creeps.
What is the difference between a lap dance versus a private dance? And what’s the Champagne Room?
A lap dance generally takes place right there, no touching, with bouncers watching. You’ll get anywhere between 3 and 6 minutes of our personal undivided attention.
The private or VIP dance takes place in a private room, for up to 20 minutes, topless, and perhaps accompanied by a “happy ending” for somebody. Bouncers are normally a panic button push away – there’s a reason those booths are built that way.
Chris Rock said that “there is no sex in the Champagne Room.” This is generally true.
But it is also true that the Champagne Room can go up to USD600 per hour or more. Depending on the club and the management, you can consider this your private playroom within the club. With consent all around, whatever happens in there stays in there.
You’re currently living and working in Las Vegas, so sex work is legal in Las Vegas?
This gets into a lot of history and detail but the TLDR of it is: sex work is legal, but only in licensed brothels. In the state of Nevada, there are only about 30 of them.
Most are incredibly upscale, high-priced establishments where you need to make a reservation and a waiting list – if you clear their background check.
Anywhere else in the state? Sex work is and always has been illegal.
Is there any of that going on where you work?
What? Sex work? Probably…?
Dancers are not sex workers (in my opinion – others may disagree), and of the dancers I do know, they are not involved in sex work. My current clubs are generally good about this. They don’t condone it on the club premises – including the “employee parking lot.”
What happens outside the club, on a dancer’s personal time, is none of my business.
So I don’t know, and being very honest with you, I don’t want to know.
So let’s talk a bit about behind the scenes. The costumes. Where do those come from?
The costumes can be pretty simple to pretty elaborate – so you can pay as little as USD20 on Etsy to as much as a few hundred bucks on other sites. It’s always a bit risky buying online because of size and fit issues but it generally works out. The costumes are the easy part.
Now the shoes…
This is where dancers spend money?
Absolutely. No dancer goes cheap on those heels that average 5.5 inches and can go up to a domineering 7 inches.
My good dancing shoes start at USD80 and the price increases based on brand, shape, embellishments, and size. Those have to be comfy cause we’re dancing in the for at least five hours a night, and we’re probably going to be wearing them for 10 plus hours in any given day!
How do you learn pole tricks? Is it dangerous? Is it worth it?
For me, I learned the tricks at a studio with some amazing teachers and classmates, so I guess I was pretty proficient before I started working. Now I do learn a few new things in class, and of course from watching things on YouTube, Pinterest, and Tumblr.
Pole tricks can be dangerous especially when you are learning or practicing. I would honestly say that after my first of several concussions, I won’t practice anything beyond the basics at home – I have my own pole installed at home – or alone just in case the worst happens.
Source: Reddit
The bruises I used to get were pretty terrible in those early days because that’s when your body is getting used to it. I mean it’s literally muscle strength and skin contact on the pole that gives you any grip when performing. Nowadays I still get those when I get a bit careless or whenever I’m trying to master something new.
There are different ways to work it as a dancer. Some dancers can’t do tricks and work the more “social” angle and make their money on the table, VIP, and Champagne Room which is perfectly acceptable. Whatever works for you right?
But the dancers that can do the tricks make more money. So it’s a job hazard, where the risks are equal to the rewards.
Last one for the customers – male or female, what is the appropriate etiquette?
Most regular customers have enough common sense, but I’ll spell it out:
- If you’re going to tip at the stage or during a lap dance, be polite about it. Just place the bills neatly in a pile so that we can scoop them up at the end of the set.
- If you go to the stage to tip, and you want her to do or keep doing some of those crazy twirling tricks and whatever, KEEP TIPPING. We will continue, and perhaps even do something a little extra special.
- The law makes it clear that there is to be no physical contact. You touch us, it gets flagged on security and you’re in trouble. If I touch you, I could get in trouble as well.
- Of course, what happens in the VIP stays in the VIP, but NO still means NO. The bouncer is our friend, not yours, and they will break down the door to protect the dancers and then bill you for it.
Now to the big question: how much can you really make? How do you make it?
In Las Vegas, dancers have to have a business license because while we dance at the club, we’re actually “independent contractors.” So we pay the club a fee to dance, but we also have hidden costs including tipping the DJ, the bartender, and sometimes the waitresses.
The worst part is that how much we can make is partially based on luck. After paying everyone, a good night’s take-home after costs is at least USD500. My personal best was just over USD6,000 in one night courtesy of a very drunk bachelor’s party.
I’ve heard stories of other dancers making even more but every dancer has their own hustle and standards for what is “good” earnings for a night’s work.
If you can do magic tricks with the pole, then you can start making money right there. Of course, the more you work the crowd the better. It’s about finding that one customer (or group of customers) that wants to blow a ton of cash on you. Of course, commissions are a part of that too, whether its from the drinks like the G-Spots or the Champagne Room.
Source: Michael S. Williamson
What does the future look like? Do you plan to move on from dancing?
I don’t know what will end my time as a dancer first: the wear and tear on my body, the possibility of being “discovered”, or me just deciding it’s time to move on.
My professional day job is doing alright, so I could always go full time, but I think what makes the day job bearable is the thought that I can slide into a pair of heels, hit the club, and dance the night away while getting paid to do it.
I have considered teaching what I know to those who are interested as well, and might start doing that this year. But I’d need to rent or set up my own studio for that one. I’ll see how things go this year.
Thanks for your time, Putri.
Oh, the pleasure is all mine.
For more stories like this, read: Safewords and Spankings: What It’s Like Being A Dominatrix In Conservative Malaysia, I Was Once a Transgender Sex Worker in Malaysia, and Dear Men, There Is Nothing Sexier To A Woman Than A Man Who Understands Consent.
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