This story is about a young woman who dreads facing her extended family during Chinese New Year after her mother broke her trust by sharing a deeply personal secret.
My mom and I always had a strained relationship since I was young. One thing about her that I disliked was that she would always tell her 4 sisters about my issues. My aunts and cousins would then get involved in my life, when I never even asked for their opinion.
From my first boyfriend at 16 to my decision to study music instead of medicine at 19, and even when I wanted to pursue yoga teacher training three years ago, my aunts and cousins always had advice I never asked for.
I’ve had fights with my mother about this, but she’s refused to understand where I’m coming from. Now, as I approach 30, I’ve been trying to understand her better. She’s a single mom who lost my dad when I was just two. Our relationship has improved over the past year, and I started sharing more about my life with her.
However, a recent incident has left me the most irritated, hurt and angry at her in years. I’m not sure I can forgive her so easily now.
A secret that wasn’t kept
Two weeks ago, I found out that I was pregnant. It happened during a one-night stand with an Australian finance bro I met in Bali. We met at the club, had a very drunken quickie at a semi-private place by the beach, and went our separate ways with our separate group of friends.
When I found out I was pregnant, I freaked out! I knew I was in no place mentally or financially to have a child, not to mention that I didn’t even have the father’s contact details.
The mistake I made? Calling my mom in a panic. On the phone, she was relatively calm as she listened to me panicking. Perhaps it was instinct, seeking comfort in her voice, and while she didn’t berate me, she didn’t provide much comfort either. I asked her to keep this between us and she agreed.
After two days, with the help of a friend, I found a solution through Women on Web, an organization offering safe abortion pills.
Within 2 days of taking the first pill, I was feeling so much better. The physical symptoms had gone, and so had my unwanted pregnancy. All was back to normal…or so I thought.
She told my whole family
A week before Chinese New Year, I got a text from my cousin, congratulating me on my pregnancy and telling me not to worry, because our family will always be here to look after me and my little one.
My blood ran cold when I saw her text. I knew immediately who had let my secret out – my mom.
And if this cousin knew about it, it means my aunts knew, which means the whole family must have already gossiped about it! I was furious.
I had planned to tell my mom it was a false alarm or a miscarriage, but now, I’m in a huge mess. In my family’s conservative eyes, abortion is a grave sin. I now face not only their judgment but also the emotional weight of their unwanted involvement.
Where do I put my face?
I know my mum eagerly waits for me to return to Ipoh for every CNY but right now the thing holding me back right now is shame and guilt.
Shame because I don’t know where to put my face in front of my grandma, and guilt for being an only child to a single mum who never remarried or been with anyone since my dad died.
The thought of celebrating Chinese New Year with my family feels unbearable, but so does the guilt for leaving my mom alone. What should I do?
Have a personal experience to share?
Share your story with In Real Life!
Submit your story to us at hello@inreallife.my and you may be featured on In Real Life Malaysia.
Read also: My Parents Skipped My Wedding Because I Married Before My “Perfect” Twin Sister
My Parents Skipped My Wedding Because I Married Before My “Perfect” Twin Sister
More from Real Relationships
“He Got Her Pregnant—Now Our Parents Are Raising The Child,” Shares Furious Elder Sister
This story is about a woman who shares how her 30-year-old brother doesn’t take responsibility for raising his own son, …
He Ghosted Me on Valentine’s Day—Then I Found Out He Had a Wife and Kids
This story is about a woman who discovered that she had been the 'other woman' to a married man on …
How This M’sian Family’s Gossip Backfired On Them Over Chinese New Year Reunion Dinner
This light-hearted story is about a M’sian Chinese family’s habit of gossiping and how the tables were turned on them …
