Disclaimer: In Real Life is a platform for everyday people to share their experiences and voices. All articles are personal stories and do not necessarily echo In Real Life’s sentiments.
I’m a guy, and as a guy, I know a little bit about women. Mostly, I just know that I don’t understand them. But after speaking to a few female friends and my wife, I’ve managed to compile a list of things that men do that women find annoying as all hell.
So, here’s what men do that completely annoys women.
It’s NOT that time of the month. Even when it is.
The moment a man assumes a woman is being… “bitchy” and says out loud that “it must be that time of the month,” is going to get covered in metaphorical blood. No woman likes it when it’s that time, and they cope with that situation as best they can.
Image for illustrative purposes only.
My wife has confided in me that, “Men are the only thing that will make a woman wish that it is that time of the month, so we have a legitimate reason to verbally flay you, and some “justification” to kick you in the groin.”
Note to all men: keep chocolate bars, and a hot water bottle handy. If a woman you know is having that time of the month, you can provide support, and comfort from a safe distance.
“Do. Not. Touch. Me.”
Joyce shared this one from a former workplace where the bosses and management were… a clique apart from the rank and file that actually did the real work.
“The management was very “hands-on.” It was all meant to be good, positive reinforcement, slap on the shoulder, pat-on-the-back, and very “bro” culture,” she said, “I had been there less than a week when my manager started rubbing my back and touching my shoulders.”
“I actually had to tell him to back off, several times. I finally had enough and filed a complaint with witnesses to the HR department. I didn’t go far enough when I told my father (a lawyer) and he served the appropriate legal papers.”
Stock image used for illustrative purposes.
Needless to say, the manager in question was fired to avoid any further legal entanglements. Joyce herself got an “acceptable” settlement from the company, and she moved on once her contract was up.
“You’re really good at that for a woman.”
It doesn’t matter if you’re talking about her culinary skills, her ability to jury-rig electrical power, or in the case of my wife, repeatedly and soundly defeat me at any fighting game you can think of.
But the instant those words, “For a girl, you’re really good at (insert activity here)” leave your mouth as a guy, you’ve pissed off the woman.
I made that mistake with my wife once, and ONLY ONCE. She proceeded to absolutely destroy me in Tekken, Street Fighter VI and Mortal Combat – and continues to do so. I play a lot of Tetris and Mobile Legends now.
To deliver a compliment in these situations, no matter the skill set involved, leave it with a “Good job!” or “Great Game! Rematch?”.
Otherwise, you’ve just put a massive set of crosshairs on your back. Acknowledge that she’s got the knowledge and skills, just like you would if one of the guys just beat you. Leave it at that.
Don’t talk over women
My former coursemate, Crystal reminded me of our own experiences from our university days with someone else, whom we shall call “Amir.”
Amir had a misogynistic habit of constantly talking over any girl in class. He would also try to make himself look smart by using complex words and terminology.
“More often than not, he’d wind up trying to mansplain something, which he would also get wrong. After only two weeks of classes, our lecturer lost her cool and shut him down so hard he said nothing for the rest of the semester.”
Since when has condescending to, and talking over your lecturer ever been a good idea?
Do you know that obscure thing about this thing?
Everyone has hobbies and interests. Everyone also has a broad general knowledge of their chosen profession. Nothing gets under a woman’s skin faster than anyone trying to play the “I know more about this subject than you do” game of 20 obscure facts and questions.
This is especially true when a woman has a hobby that is viewed as being traditionally “masculine.” This can be anything from building Gundam to paintball/airsoft to professional skills like cuisine and IT.
Meme used for illustrative purposes.
Suzanne had to deal with this from several former colleagues, and she has no regrets about leaving that company after less than six months.
“It’s not a compliment because we work our asses off to get where we are. We earned our qualifications, supplemented that with additional courses and learning and worked hard to be good at what we are doing. Professionally. For a living.”
The wise subject matter expert knows one, or several areas of their chosen field well.
They deserve to be respected appropriately. And don’t ask them for advice on the subject if you’re going to do the exact opposite of what they tell you.
Skip the macho-aggressive and passive-aggressive behavior
The catcalling, the honking at the pretty lady walking down the street, or worse yet the yelled “compliment” from a passing motorcyclist. None of that is attractive. None of that gets you any positive attention or street credibility.
The worst are the men who think that asking/telling a woman “senyum sayang” is somehow a compliment.
Janice explained it succinctly, “Women just want to be left alone to do basic things in peace. Her reaction to your provocation, that irritation, that annoyance is not her playing hard to get or trying to flirt with you.”
If you think that’s her flirting, brace yourself for a verbal barrage and, if you’re not so lucky, a hard kick to the groin.
You Are Not the “Nice Guy”
From a woman’s perspective, the moment the guy says, “But I’m a nice guy,” they instinctively think the exact opposite.
It’s the very same self-proclaimed nice guy that has done one or more of these things listed above.
If you want to be a nice guy, don’t do the above and don’t call yourself a nice guy.
That’s a judgment other people are supposed to make about you.
Meme used for illustrative purposes.
Those are the top ways that men annoy women, without even trying to. For those who have already wound up in the metaphorical hot water, remember not to put the chocolate bar on top of the hot water bottle when that time of the month arrives.
Know anyone with an exciting story to share? Drop us an email at hello@inreallife.my, and we may feature the tale!
For more stories like this, read:
I’m A Mat-Salleh ‘Rice Chaser’ & Here’s Why M’sian Women Are The Easiest To ‘Date’
“Local M’sian Students Are The Worst” – Landlord Reveals Why She Won’t Rent To Them Ever Again
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