I’ll never forget my first friend-with-benefits. She was (is) the hottest person I’ve ever been with, and contrary to all the stigma, it was a healthy and rewarding relationship.
Here’s what happened.
I was in old Zouk, back when it was at Jalan P.Ramlee attending some friend’s party. To be honest, I wasn’t really in the mood for partying that night, but you know lah, when it’s your friend’s party, have to go mah.
It was getting late, probably around 2 or 3 a.m. I was tired and sat down on the circular couches, next to all the drunk people. All of a sudden, this beautiful woman pops up and asks me “Sorry, is this seat taken?” pointing to the empty seat next to me.
You would probably expect me to describe her at this point, but honestly, I don’t remember. I just remembered her hair was up in a bun, she was pretty asf, and she had big boobs.
It’s not a love story ya, it’s not like the stars aligned or anything.
Anyway, hot chick, big boobs, so I had to try my luck lah.
“Sure,” I said. “But on one condition – you let me buy you a drink.”
She smiled and said okay. She ordered a whiskey, on the rocks.
I brought her drink over and we talked. Her name’s K, she’s from Mongolia, and she’s a student here in Malaysia. I don’t remember what we talked about, but we exchanged numbers before I left.
The next day, I messaged her. She replied, and I was excited. In my mind, damn, this is going somewhere. We arranged to meet later that week.
I remember our first date. She was decently dressed, wearing this white floral dress. It was a bit short, but I didn’t mind – she had nice legs too.
I took her to a Japanese buffet. We talked for a couple of hours. It was a decent date, and I sent her home after. Nothing happened.
It was the second date when things got interesting.
On our second date, she wore a shirt which was buttoned down low. If there ever was a challenge to look at a girl in the eye, this was it – I had to concentrate on keeping eye contact. Whenever she looked away, that’s when I would steal glances at her cleavage.
At one point she caught me and smiled. “I know right?” she said. “It’s like these things are just saying hello to the world,” she laughed.
Anyway, I invited her over to Netflix and chill. Being a young, inexperienced boy at the time, we actually did watch a whole movie at first. She was ready to watch the second movie before I decided fuck it and reached out to kiss her.
She was waiting. She kissed me back and in the next second, we were making out in the couch in my living room. I wanted to move her back to my bedroom before she stopped me.
“Why don’t we just do it here?”
What? No, my housemates might come back soon.
She looked at me dead in the eyes with a mischievous grin. “So?”
I wasn’t quite the exhibitionist that she was, so I convinced her to come into the bedroom with me. Once inside, let’s just say this girl knew what she was doing.
She was one of the best sex I’ve ever had.
After we finished, something odd happened. The first thing she did was reach into her purse, took her phone out, and started browsing 9GAG.
Wait, isn’t this supposed to be the part where we cuddle?
Maybe she’s just waiting for me to initiate the talk. You know, discuss whether we’re steady or what.
I roll towards her and ask, “So, would you say we’re dating now, or…”
She stops, looks at me, and says, “Oh what? No, we’re definitely not dating. We’re just like, really good friends, right?” and then she goes back to her phone.
That’s when I realized – oh shit, we’re friends with benefits.
The friends with benefits zone
I have to admit, I was hurt at first. But then I remembered my ex-girlfriend.
See my ex-girlfriend… well, she wasn’t clingy, but she was in my personal space all the time (we were living together). She would come back from work and expect me to listen to her rant about her job, even when I was tired asf. Or she wanted me to talk about my job, when all I really wanted to do was switch off for a couple of hours. She also wanted to cuddle at night, when actually I hate cuddling – I mean, how can anyone sleep? It’s just so freaking hot.
So it was a strange feeling to have this beautiful, hot girl sleep on the other side of the bed, and not want to talk about shit.
This could work, I thought.
And it did. For the next year or so, K would show up intermittently at my place. Sometimes once a month, sometimes once a week – it was completely up to her.
It turns out, we were both potheads. So she’d come over sometimes, just to smoke up. She’d tell me upfront “Hey, I wanna come by and chill today, but we’re not fucking. That okay?”
And I always said yes.
One time, she came over and told me we weren’t going to do anything. I said sure. She came over and halfway through the movie, she just slid over and put her hand down my pants.
What happened to not doing anything? I asked.
“I changed my mind,” she said, with the same mischievous grin the first time we slept together.
She was sexually confident
One thing guys don’t want to admit – if you sleep around enough, you’re going to get the occasional erectile dysfunction.
It happens to everyone, and it’s normal. Surprise!
Girls, you might not know this, but the ‘almighty’ erection is not invincible. Some days, your man is just not going to be able to perform.
Maybe he drank too much, or he’s tired and not in the mood, or he already watched porn earlier in the day, or he just doesn’t think you’re a goddess of shining purity and perfection at that particular moment in time – any of these is enough to make dick limp.
So despite how hot K was, there was one time I couldn’t get it up. At least not enough for sex.
I was afraid because whenever this happened with my ex and I, she would take it personally. Like the only reason I couldn’t get it up was because she wasn’t good enough. We’d argue and she’d start crying, etc.
I didn’t want K to think that.
When she saw me struggling, she finished me off with her hands, and then took a vibrator from her purse. “I always carry this around with me,” she explained, before using it on herself.
After she finished, I wanted to explain.
“Hey, you know, today what happened wasn’t because of you-“
“Oh I know,” she said, cutting me off. “I never assume it’s me. It’s always the guy. But it’s normal you know? Shit happens, it’s fine, don’t worry about it.”
She smiled and went to sleep.
That was the sexiest, most confident thing I had ever heard a girl say. After that, K and I never had problems anymore.
How it ended
You might think it ended because someone found out that we were cheating on each other.
We weren’t a couple, so both of us knew that we were screwing other people. She and I always practiced safe sex though, so neither of us were worried.
Back when I was with my ex, there was a lot of jealousy. My ex began liking this mat salleh from the U.K or some white country lah. They hung out a lot, and I began checking her phone after that.
We broke up soon after.
With K, things were different. She was always honest and never lied about her lifestyle. She’d tell me about the guys she was seeing, and I told her about the girls I was seeing too. Because we were so transparent, there was no pressure and our hangout sessions became friendly and fun. We connected.
Things ended because she had to move to the U.S.
She told me via text one day. She said she finally saved enough money to make the move. She thought she’d stay in Malaysia forever, but an opportunity came up and she was going to take it.
If anyone ever tells you that friends with benefits don’t mean anything, they’re wrong. It’s not as devastating as a breakup, sure, but I was definitely torn up about seeing her go.
A week later, she came by and gave me a farewell fuck before she left.
Nowadays, a lot of people look down on the term ‘friends with benefits’. I guess people are afraid, because they always think it’s going to end badly, or that it doesn’t mean anything. But for me, K was one of the best things that happened to me.
In fact, I always tell people – meeting K made my messy breakup worth it.
K and I still talk today. She occasionally updates me about her life in the US. I didn’t realize it was possible, but once she moved to the US, she became a gym junkie, started eating right, and became even hotter than she was.
I showed her photo to my friends the other day, and even they didn’t believe me.
But that’s okay – I guess that’s why they’re just regular friends without benefits!
For more articles like these, read I Had a Series of Wild Tinder Dates. Here’s What Happened, and How a Love Triangle Ruined Our Friendship but Brought Us Closer, Too.