Written by Amanda N.C\u00a0 Right off the bat, I\u2019m a hopeless romantic. Especially those old-school romantic gestures: Having a slow dance, dining by candlelight, creating a love song playlist just for that person. And did I mention I\u2019m a sucker for handwritten love letters? Simple things like this just makes my heart skip a beat.\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Yet, now that I\u2019m 26, I\u2019ve experienced nothing but heartbreak. I\u2019ve had a guy who called me \u201cboring\u201d just because I refused to sleep with him; a guy who ended up befriending me just to get closer to my friend; a guy who was only with me for his \u201cexperimental phase\u201d. (That last one ghosted me and went out with another girl while we were dating on Valentine\u2019s Day.) Sure, I have a great time with the guys I\u2019ve dated. I did learn a lot of lessons from my past relationships. It\u2019s only when they reveal their true colors when I\u2019ve gotten the short end of the stick. In turn, I\u2019ve kept more walls up and become more guarded when the next guy comes around.\u00a0 That was until I met David David was someone I never thought I would have the pleasure to meet in a million years \u2014 let alone fall for one another during the MCO pandemic. To be honest, when we first started texting, I was only talking to him because I was bored.\u00a0 Soon, the conversation got super interactive and amazing. It led on from texting to talking on the phone for about 6 hours a day. We had so much similarity in our values. There was just something about the chemistry just sparked so well between the two of us.\u00a0 After the first few weeks of this, we both met each other face-to-face. He was everything that I prayed for: A sweet, funny, nice, understanding, great smile, family-oriented, and a very simple, down-to-earth kind of person.\u00a0 We found we liked one another on a deeper level. I knew he liked me a lot \u2014 he went as far as saying that he was just captivated by me as a person. I never had a guy who was so sure of me and was so passionate about understanding me more. He accepted who I am and even confessed the \u201cI love you\u201d to me first.\u00a0 Due to my past disappointments in love, I never said the L word. Although LDRs are something that I\u2019ve never done, I wanted to try it for the first time because he was worth it. I wanted to be 100% certain that I am saying the I love you word to someone who truly wants me.\u00a0 During our LDR, he dropped a bomb on me\u00a0 Everything was fine and dandy during our LDR until he dropped a bomb on me and said: \u201cI like you but I am not in love with you.\u201d\u00a0 My heart sank.\u00a0 However, we talked it out and we knew we didn\u2019t want to break up. So I said,\u201dLet things flow and not force love to come out of this relationship. Things take time.\u201d We agreed to continue our relationship. I tried my hardest to fight for it, because I believed in us. Two months after that, he brought up this issue again and was dead set about breaking up, saying he cannot love me. Hearing those words, I stopped fighting for us there and then.\u00a0 I thought I went through the worst with the past guys I\u2019ve dated but David takes the No. 1 trophy for hurting me. He led me on, made a U-turn on his feelings, and left me feeling heartbroken and confused.\u00a0 He told me that he realized I was not his missing puzzle piece in his life and the way we both love will never \u201cngam\u201d or match.\u00a0 Although it was hard and confusing to hear that, somehow his explanation made sense to me and I stopped blaming myself and decided to move on. I\u2019ve gotten the closure that I needed. I\u2019ve said my peace to him and we ended things in great terms. Nothing more I could ask from this breakup.\u00a0 Despite us not being together, I still think he is an amazing person with great qualities in a man. Sadly, it was just not meant to be. I felt this immense love for myself\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Though this was horrible for me to go through, when he said he was not in love with me, I felt this immense amount of love for myself even more, which is super weird.\u00a0 I realised I had come to a point in my life where if someone doesn\u2019t want to choose me even when I\u2019ve done everything I could to salvage the relationship, then I should stop wasting my time.\u00a0 Yes, it still sucks going through the heartbreak and it's not the greatest feeling ever. But at the end of the day, I know who I am and that is someone who is smart, beautiful, funny and kind. If he doesn\u2019t want that, then I am only destined for a better one out there.\u00a0\u00a0 After our breakup, I felt an immense amount of weight lifted off my shoulders. I stopped overthinking and pressuring myself into finding 101 ways to make him happy and love me more.\u00a0 Sometimes, s**t happens for a reason and that\u2019s alright.\u00a0 If you\u2019re reading this and you\u2019re hurting from an ex,\u00a0 stay positive and move forward. It\u2019s okay to not be okay and heal in your own sweet time. It\u2019s a process that will be beneficial for you in the long run.\u00a0 Be with people who make you feel like you\u2019re worth gold and diamonds, invest in yourself with hobbies or take up new sports. Eventually, with time and a positive mindset, you\u2019ll be the motherf**king Queen that I now acknowledge myself as. For more stories like this, read: Breaking up Because of Money and Status. A Girl\u2019s Story. and\u00a0Why Did You Break Up? Malaysians Tell Us the Reasons Their Relationships Didn\u2019t Work Out.