It\u2019s likely you\u2019ve heard of the five love languages. The idea, as explained by marriage counsellor Dr. Gary Chapman, is that we all have a preferred way of receiving love: Words of Affirmation, Acts of Service, Receiving Gifts, Quality Time, and Physical Affection. But what if your love language doesn\u2019t match your partner\u2019s? Just imagine telling your partner how much you appreciate them in Hokkien when they don\u2019t understand a word of the dialect. Yeah, you might as well proclaim your love to a bucket of fried chicken. So how can couples overcome this roadblock in their relationships? I spoke to four couples to find out. Mei Ling Craved Words of Affirmation, But Adam Struggled with the Language A cute note left on the mirror With words of affirmation as her primary love language, Mei Ling tells her boyfriend, Adam, she loves him a lot. \u201cI wish he would say \u2018I love you\u2019 more too,\u201d she sighed. Adam, however, isn\u2019t always comfortable saying the three words. He isn\u2019t very eloquent either. During arguments, he would say the wrong things and fail to express his points well, which often results in Mei Ling getting angrier. At the same time, Adam would drive her around without her having to ask and cook for her. Mei Ling realised this was his way of saying \u201cI love and appreciate you.\u201d She finally understood Adam was making up for his inability to shower her with words of affirmation through acts of service, her secondary love language. Now, when he does these things, she appreciates them more, knowing their significance. Mei Ling and Adam Mei Ling advised, \u201cDon\u2019t push him, don\u2019t compare him to other guys, and don\u2019t be too set on your love language.\u201d Jacob Was Confused When Ami Rejected His Gifts In the beginning, Jacob would give Ami gifts, which is how he likes to show love. Thing is, Ami would be uncomfortable and try to reject the gifts, saying \u201cI can\u2019t accept this.\u201d This frustrated Jacob. He felt his efforts were unappreciated. But over time, Jacob learned Ami\u2019s primary love language is quality time. She would ask for them to hang out, call him when she wants to talk, and give him her undivided attention. To her, it\u2019s easy to give things and say things, so it means more when her partner is able to sit down and be there with her. Now, whenever Ami\u2019s in a bad mood, Jacob knows he should make time for her. He\u2019d say \u201cLet\u2019s go for ice cream\u201d or he\u2019d call her to distract her and make her laugh. For Ami, even though she still doesn\u2019t like getting material things, she slowly began to understand that\u2019s how Jacob expresses his love and learned to appreciate the gifts more. \u201cI think it\u2019s about adjusting our behaviour to fit each other\u2019s love languages. The effort would not go unnoticed,\u201d Jacob shared. Li Yen and Daniel\u2019s Love Languages Reflect Their Different Upbringing Sometimes, your love language is shaped by your parents\u2019. While Li Yen and Daniel share the primary love language of quality time, Li Yen was raised by parents who showed each other acts of service, her secondary love language. \u201cMy parents would do things for each other without a single word passing between them. Dad would sweep or vacuum the floor, go on grocery runs, or hang the clothes to dry after Mum washes them. While Mum would cook and wash the dishes, and look after Dad's health.\u201d These practices were passed onto Li Yen, who shows acts of service to her family by helping iron her dad\u2019s work shirts and sometimes, baking pastries for all to share. Daniel, however, wasn\u2019t raised the same way with acts of service as his second-least important love language. \u201cFor example, I will serve him a glass of water whenever he comes to my house, but he won\u2019t do the same. Only his mum would do that,\u201d Li Yen lamented. But after taking the love languages quiz, Li Yen finally understood Daniel shows his love through quality time and doesn\u2019t wonder \u201cWhy are you not like that?\u201d anymore. Similarly, Daniel started showing Li Yen more acts of service knowing how much she\u2019d appreciate them. \u201cEven though he doesn\u2019t like to drive, he started picking me up whenever I am back in KL from Singapore. It makes me happy seeing he\u2019s making an effort.\u201d Louis\u2019 Love Language Changed When She and Andy Had a Son Andy and Louis like to travel because it's the best form of quality time - without the stress from work Having been in a relationship with Louis for 18 years now, and married for 11 of those years, Andy points out that people evolve over time, with changes in lifestyles and needs. His wife, Louis, likes surprises and her primary love language is receiving gifts, be it a cheesecake or a small souvenir from a work trip. However, after becoming parents, time became increasingly limited. As a busy professional with a son in primary school, Louis started to appreciate acts of service more. \u201cThese days, I am more grateful when Andy would help pick our son up from school, feed him, and make sure he\u2019s doing his homework. It helps lessen my burden.\u201d As for Andy, his love language is quality time. For him, travelling with Louis is the best way to enjoy each other\u2019s company because there aren\u2019t work or daily responsibilities getting in the way. \u201cWe are continually learning about our partners, even if you\u2019re 18 years in. What they need changes and it\u2019s up to you to notice these changes,\u201d he shared. Why Are Love Languages Important? When it comes to showing love, impact trumps intent. As one couple puts it, she will always remember his handwritten notes, but she won\u2019t always remember him doing the dishes, shopping for groceries, or doing the laundry. Learning how to \u2018speak\u2019 your partner\u2019s primary love language lets you know which action has better impact. Did any of these love languages make you go \u201cHey, that\u2019s me!\u201d? Let us know by sharing your love language experience here.