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It was somewhere around Jan 2008 when I first met one of my team member, soon to be my first love at this particular church event during CNY. She was a very reserved girl, with no one but our mutual friend as a way to approach her. I mean she’s nice, soft-spoken and for a nerdy guy like I am. On top of that, she’s really pretty.
I ask her to be my girlfriend mid-Feb, and things starts to go quite okay. Of course there’s time when I’m embarrassed to cross path with her, but every guys does, right? We met with each other during some church events as that’s my only window to meet her from my strict, ‘no-meeting-friends-unless-I-say-so’ family. Things worked out well that year.
It all went downhill when I had to transferred to another town, due to my parent that got another job offer. I had to leave everything including her and haven’t been contacting her ever since. Internet was mobile devices was relatively new to me, and there was no means of communication except from SMS texting and calling which taken a way lot for a guy who depends on his parent to give everything.
I transferred back to my hometown after finishing my SPM 2012, and I came across with her once more. This time, through Facebook. As many SPM undergraduates took part-times, I wasted no time to took one just near her job work. We chatted, this time more casually with this questions lingering in each others mind; “Are we still in relationship?”
It was a bittersweet moments that we always called up till wee hours of the night, often went out together, she’s listening attentively to my frustrations while I’m trying to assist her problems in every ways that I could. There’s some flick along the way, definitely there’s something between us.
But the questions still remains: “Are we still in relationship?”
She said she can’t continue with this on-off relationship of ours by mid-year 2013, and it was a shock to hear those words; unable to cope up should she go away, I told her that I’ll stay for a year just for her. And chat as we always do.
To which she agreed.
Fast forward few months later, I had to move to Johor while she moved to Sabah to continue pursuing our studies. From face-to-face to Skype, we both still maintain our communication and every time we back at our hometown, we didn’t took our outing for granted!
Fast forward till exactly a year, I again pose the same question; “Will you stay with me?”
To which she deny.
It took awhile to swallow that, some days I got depressed by it; another day I drowned myself with liquors, most of the time I cried, can’t believing she’s rejecting me after all the times.
4 years passed, and I’m getting better. I have a job that I enjoyed working with, have a good girlfriend that appreciates me. And the last time I heard, she’s in steady relationship.
We haven’t contacted much ever since. Crossed path once or twice, but I must admit, she was my first love.