[Editor’s note: Names have been changed to preserve anonymity.]
It started on this one night, when I was on a company trip together with my colleagues. We were having a heart-to-heart conversation on the balcony.
As we were randomly talking about friendships with close friends that eventually could turn into a relationship, the topic of a boy named Kei popped out.
Fast forward 3 months down the road, this same colleague invited me for her birthday party at a club.
I did not want to attend at first, because I didn’t know anyone but since I was going through a moving on phase after a break-up, I wanted to explore new places and meet new friends, so I eventually attended the party. Thankfully I did because I finally met this boy named Kei. He was there with his girlfriend.
Kei said “Hi” and I replied, “So you’re the Kei that she has been talking about all this while”. He laughed and gave me a drink, and we lifted our glasses to say ‘cheers’.
After that, I walked away to the dance floor to dance with my other friends who were also there on the same day at the party. I made some new friends eventually, and we hit it off, so we had some drinks, and I left to head home.
The ‘Getting To Know Him’ Phase
4 months down the road, he added me on Instagram. At first, I was a little confused as to which Kei this is but I figured it must have been Kei from the party.
I texted my colleague to double confirm and she said yes. So, I approved his friend request, and that day changed my life forever.
We started talking via DMs (direct message) for about a week, until one day he decided to video call me, but I was too shy to pick up.
I texted him the next day, and asked him, “What was that video call about?”
He said, “I was drunk and I just felt like talking.”
It got me wondering, does that mean he was thinking about me even when he was drunk, doesn’t he have a girlfriend to call? Would she be mad if we continued texting? But my curiosity got the best of me.
Let me get this straight, I am not the type of girl that would talk to a guy that is in a relationship, nor will I even meet up with them.
I respect and take other people’s relationships seriously. During this time, I was only thinking of being friends with him, but the conversations we had flowed so smoothly.
I did call him back after that text, and we continued talking and texting about our next place to visit, work, our favorite food and music.
Also, it was a bonus because he was a foodie too, and we both couldn’t help but share more food places we could explore together, which eventually led to more dates.
The Happy Go Lucky Phase
We both had a really enjoyable time talking to each other, and I could not figure out why. Everything was so natural.
A day later, we continued chatting, and we were talking about dinner as I had just finished work. He told me about this really nice place that served good burritos.
He asked if I wanted to have dinner together. I have to admit at this time, I was curious how this dinner would go as I was also excited to have met a new friend. So, I agreed.
Tacos and nachos for dinner
At the time, I was single and I had just broken up for a few months, and was not looking for a relationship but more of new friends.
So we went to the restaurant, and he paid for my dinner. In my head, all I could think about was, ‘Is this a date’? But I kept telling myself that it is not possible because he has a girlfriend.
After dinner, we stood outside the restaurant for a smoke, and we continued talking for almost 4 hours.
It was really crazy how we both just continued talking for so many hours. I was afraid that this would make me like him even more than just friends, because HE HAS A GIRLFRIEND.
After that night, I went home and we continued talking.
He asked me out again a few times — until this one day, we decided to head over to his place to chill.
When I was over at his place, we were getting a little too comfortable. He asked me to watch a movie while lying down on his shoulder, and I had no idea why I agreed to that.
A few days later, we hung out again for a friend’s farewell. That night, things sparked really fast. We were laughing, dancing and enjoying ourselves.
After the farewell, I followed him back to pick up my car at his place. While he was driving, he held my hand as if we were together.
I felt so awkward but a part of me felt a kind of comfort. I could also sense that he was really down and upset, and he was. Without him telling me, I could feel it.
It felt so odd that I could sense and feel his emotions so deeply. But I pretended like nothing was happening.
The Day Everything Moved So Fast
The next day I went to his place again to chill, but this time, he kissed me, and I kissed back.
I felt really guilty about it, as I knew I was overstepping boundaries. But it was like the chemistry was so strong between us, it was so hard to say no.
I constantly asked him about his girlfriend, and if she would be really upset and mad about this. He said, “Yes, but we’re on a break.” To me, I don’t believe in breaks.
If I were to take a break, my relationship was definitely in trouble and in his case, I could tell that he was confused because he was afraid of something.
But I did not look into the matter too much, because although I felt something for Kei, I knew it was not going to go anywhere. I knew I was the one that was going to get hurt.
It was time to stop what we were doing, but no, I stayed on and my feelings for him grew.
This came to a point where I was really uncomfortable about him telling me that he was with his girlfriend.
It was a really achy feeling in my heart, and my mind was constantly thinking about it. I felt disgusted with myself for being such a piece of s**t. But I couldn’t stop myself from continuing this.
The Heartbreak Phase
Day after day, I kept telling myself I have to leave this boy, and finally this day came.
He invited me for his friend’s birthday, and I agreed to join. They added me into a WhatsApp group and one of them asked him, ‘Is your girlfriend joining?’
And then it hit me, I was The Other Girl. I will always have to hide myself in the background, and it really hurts.
But I pretended like I was okay. I couldn’t let him know that I was upset or else he would know that my feelings for him were starting to grow.
So, I told him I’m not going for the birthday party, and he said it’s best if I don’t as well, because he did not want his friends to think of me in a certain way.
I was mad, upset, and all feelings combined. I told myself it’s over this time but of course, I stayed on.
Finally one day, I confronted him about his feelings. It took me so much courage to walk up to him and ask him if he actually likes me and if he sees this going anywhere further. I couldn’t put up with this especially if he was in a relationship.
He said he likes me a lot but he could not leave his girlfriend because he was stuck and was afraid that he would lose his job. You see, although they were on a break, they were colleagues.
I told him I understood and he said he would settle things with her before we continued this again. So we continued to text and meet every single day, without fail.
My Life Changing Moment
Finally, one day, he asked me to be his girlfriend. I was shocked.
He told me he had broken up with his girlfriend — but we still have to keep us a secret because he did not want her to hurt herself or find out that he had been seeing me all along.
So, I agreed. I felt it was the right thing to do. I had no intentions of hurting another person, nor do I want him to lose his job because of me.
And ever since then, 8 February 2020, my life changed forever. I had found my soulmate, my best friend, my everything and he felt the same way too. It feels almost too good to be true.
I thought that I would never be able to love again, but he came into my life unexpectedly. I am happy, so thankful to have this person in my life. He has made me a better person, and there has not been a day I ever stopped loving him.
Today, 7 July 2020, we have plans of moving in together, getting married and building a business together. It’s unbelievable.
How I Know I Can Trust Him
Many still ask me how I will be able to trust him after all that happened.
I honestly had a lot of trust issues in the beginning, but he had proven to me that he is trustworthy.
He always assures me and makes me feel safe whenever I feel insecure; also, he communicates about everything openly and with full transparency.
He even plans out special dates and spends most of his time with me, and most importantly, he promised to commit to a future with me and is working towards that.
Every bone in my body tells me that he is my soulmate, and there is nothing to worry about.
Of course, there are days where insecurities kick in. But today, after 7 months of seeing each other, I am slowly learning to keep my insecurities in check.
I’m not encouraging cheating here, it is wrong on so many levels and there’s no excuse.
But sometimes you never know that your soulmate might just be standing right next to you all this while.
I’ll always know in my heart, that ‘If two people were meant to be together, eventually they will find their way back to each other.’
A memorable trip to remember – Bali 2020
*This article is dedicated to the guy I love dearly and an apology to the girl that I unintentionally stole him from.
For more stories like this, read: The Other Woman — How I Came To Accept My Dad’s Girlfriend, and I Was Called a Homewrecker, And My Friends Cut Me Out. Here’s My Story.