There’s a girl sitting across the hall – she’s caught your eye, and you’re pretty sure she’s smiled at you twice now. You want to make the first move, but how? What’s the best way to ask her out?
It’s an age-old question. Believe it or not, there’s no one-size-fits-all answer. Everyone’s different, and what worked for someone, may not necessarily work for you. So, we asked Malaysians what they thought were the best ways to ask someone out.
Here’s what they have to say:
Honesty is the best policy.
If you like someone, tell them. Don’t beat around the bush, hoping they’ll get it. Most likely, they won’t. It’s going to take balls to ask them out, but it’s like ripping off a bandage – just do it quickly and find out for sure. It’s better than wasting your time wondering.
A girl approached Thavin when he was alone in a café. She told him straight up, “I think you’re handsome, and I’d love to go on a date with you.” It shocked him—Not even he had the balls to do that!
He would have said yes, but he already had a girlfriend. He rejected her gently, and she understood. There weren’t any hard feelings. She left, as simple as that.
It’s straight to the point and drama-free. She immediately knew how he felt, and could go about her day without any regrets. Sure, it’s a little embarrassing to be rejected, but it’s a lot better than wondering ‘what if’.
Nevertheless, asking someone out is still a tricky process. Here’s a few mistakes you shouldn’t make when asking a girl out.
But if you prefer the slow game, there’s always…
Bonding through similar interests
Going hard and fast isn’t always the best choice – sometimes, it’s better to start slow and focus on common interests. Building a rapport makes it less awkward when you finally ask them out.
It could be something small like a band T-shirt, or a book you’re reading. Make it your conversation starter. Build on it, then ask them out. It’s how Ryan got his girlfriend.
She was a classmate that he thought was cute. She didn’t know anyone, so she kept to herself. He wanted to go up and talk to her, but how? What should he say? How could he make it feel natural?
Then one day, she came into class with an N7 jacket. It’s a reference to ‘Mass Effect’, a game he was a huge fan of. It was his ticket to starting a conversation with her.
They talked about their favourite characters, and how they played the game. By the end of class, he got her number, and they went out later that week.
Catering to interests is a great way to start. It’s more personal than clichéd pick-up lines. It’s not ground-breaking —but hey, if it’s not broken, don’t fix it, right?
But if you’re looking for a something a bit more original, you could…
Ask them out in quirky ways
We’re used to dating within our circles. Chances are, we date our friends, friends of friends, or classmates and colleagues. With them, you don’t really need an opening line – the introduction’s been done for you.
But today, we have dating apps like Tinder and Paktor. There’re so many people on it, we’re spoiled for choice. It’s made dating more competitive, and you need something original to stand out from the crowd.
It could be something simple. Maybe a catchy pun on their name, a joke—anything which makes them laugh is a great start. It’s at least better than “Hey, how are you? :)”
Here’s what this one guy did:
Joanne met him through Tinder. At first, she wrote him off—his flirting didn’t always hit the mark. Their conversations were a drag, and it felt like a dead end.
Then, he asked her out. He linked her to a playlist he made on Spotify. The first letter of each song spelled out: “Will you go out with me, Joanne?”
She’s never been asked out like that. It was cute and quirky and made her laugh. Naturally, she said yes.
Think outside the box. Find interesting ways to ask them out. Making a good impression even before you take them out, makes them more likely to be attracted to you.
And there you have it: The best ways to ask someone out. Of course, this isn’t a one-size fits all approach. Just do whatever’s comfortable for you, and have fun with it. Isn’t that the point of dating in the first place?
For more stories on dating, check out 5 Ways Guys Are Approaching Tinder Wrong (And How They Can Be Better), or I Had a Series of Wild Tinder Dates (Here’s What Happened).