I have trouble sleeping. I’m not sure if it’s thinking about work or insomnia which is keeping me up. At 3.45AM, I reach out for my phone – I scroll through my playlist of bedtime ASMR (Autonomous Sensory Meridian Response) audios on Youtube.
If you don’t know what ASMR is, hoo-boy will you have something to tell your friends today.
ASMR is basically recordings of people who whisper soothing words to you. Literally.
Don’t believe me? Listen to it yourself.
Yeah, that happened.
Anyway, I was having trouble sleeping, so I was going through my own ASMR list.
1. Boyfriend snuggles you to sleep – I listened to that last Tuesday
2. Fall asleep in my arms – Nope, that didn’t work for me
3. Between the Sheets – Wait, what is this?
I must have saved this audio a while back and forgot about it. Headphone recommended it said, and I obeyed.
What happened for the next seven minutes was pure ecstasy.
It was a sexual track. He was a mysterious Irish ASMR artist who engulfed me with seductive kisses and sensual whispers. Even though it was purely audio, it felt like he was there. I visualised him ruffling the sheets while running his fingertips against the lines of my body.
It was unbelievable.
That track didn’t put me to sleep that night. Instead, I stayed up and explored the world of erotic audio. Why hasn’t anyone told me about this? Have I been so out of touch? Does anyone even know that erotic audio exists?
As it turns out, most ASMR artists on Youtube have a collection of risque tracks. They sell them on the side, to help support their ASMR career.
You can find sneak peeks of the artist’s erotic audios on Youtube. These teasers are mostly light, yet enticing.
If you stumble on an audio that piques your interest, the video’s description box will direct you to the artist’s Patreon page – that’s where you can find their really erotic stuff.
Patreon is where most ASMR artists store their library of steamy erotic audios. For a small monthly subscription, you can access their exclusive erotic audios that are anywhere between romances to NSFW. You know, the real kinky stuff.
I ended up subscribing to different ASMR artists (hey, a girl’s gotta have her flavours of the week). I don’t know their real names and appearances, but I know their profiles well enough after listening to their audios.
Man #1: A deep-voiced American with a penchant for calling me ‘brat’
Man #2: An adorable gaming geek with an American-Southern accent
Man #3: An Irish man who lives in the countryside with a dog
Man #4: A husky Australian who treats you like a boyfriend or best friend
Isn’t this a wonderful catalogue of fantasy boyfriends to choose from? I’m pretty sure there are a lot more ASMR artists who can fulfill your kinks, but these men fulfilled mine. Call me greedy, but I enjoy them on a weekly rotation.
Just last week, I ‘spent the night’ with Man #3 for some midnight indulgences. I accessed his Patreon account and scrolled through his list of erotic audios. The range of this Irish man’s erotic roleplaying is amazing, albeit scripted. Depending on your audio of the day, he can take on the role of being your Irish boyfriend. Sometimes, he’s the alluring guy you met at the bar. Other times, he’s a fireman, a male escort or a vampire.
Like I said, he has range.
If you’re new to this, I recommend starting with something vanilla such as ‘Romance in the Library’ and ‘Naughty Night at the Theater’ before turning up the raunchy with ‘Up Against the Wall’. I know, it sounds cringe-y, like a bad porn parody title. But trust me, it’s good.
Occasionally, this Irish man challenges you to listen to his audios in public places. Some girls I know would listen to it while driving or grocery shopping. I’d prefer to blush and bite my lips within the four walls of my bedroom.
Once you have your earphones on, it’s just you, him and the scenario you dream up to be. Let his charm tease the hell out of you. Let his seduction take you over.
Fuck, baby. Feel my hands touching, exploring and teasing. Then, tracing your kisses down to your chest…I want this to be slow and sensual. Till we ravish each other and collapse in exhaustion.
When you turn those pursed lips into a playful smile, your rosy cheeks will thank me for it.