Most of us have likely heard of the term “sugar baby” at some point in our lives. Maybe you might’ve even heard of “real life” accounts on local lifestyle sites, some of them sponsored content promoting one app or other.
Well, this spicy tale told by a young professional woman named Julia* is not one of them. This is real, and this is raw.
I spoke to Julia recently, and she agreed to tell me her story. In between jobs, she decided to seek out extra income, but she ain’t looking for a Grab-driving gig.
Julia decided to see what’s it like being a sugar baby.
So, she went online, downloaded the apps, and signed up on sugar dating websites. She was hoping to do this part-time, before finding a stable job. She tried it for a month, and this was her experience.
I wasn’t familiar with the term ‘sugar dating’ until a friend whispered it to me one day. I’d noticed she’d recently acquired a good number of clothes and accessories, and would frequently go on short but exotic weekend trips. One weekend it was to Bali, and another time she was gone a whole month to the Gili Islands in Indonesia. I wasn’t a nosy person by nature but I HAD to ask. She finally spilled the beans one night after three mojitos.
“Babe. You know, all these holidays and gifts? I got them from my sugar daddies.”
“What?” I exclaimed. “You have more than one?”
She chuckled and took another sip. “Yeah. Are you surprised? Would you judge me differently now that you know?”
I shook my head, more intrigued than ever. “Nope. But yeah I’m all ears – tell me everything!”
So, over a couple of hours that night, she told me how she found her rich ‘sugar daddies’. At the end of the session, I knew enough to try it on my own. I learned which websites and apps to sign up for. The rest of the lessons, I learnt by being a sugar baby myself for a month.
These are the things I found out:
Sugar daddies are NOT all old.
Sure, the cliched image on everyone’s minds may be true to a certain extent, but I’ve met some which are surprisingly young, probably as young as 21.
Once, during a date with the youngest one I’ve met (he got rich during the Bitcoin boom, and is now running his own digital empire) I asked him, why be a sugar daddy? Why not find a regular girlfriend? He answered, “I do have those too. But they’re full of hypocrisy as if it’s not money they’re after.” We were sipping iced wine in his beautiful suite overlooking KLCC. “Sugar babies are different – we have transparent arrangements and I feel more at ease with them.” After that, we went back to the hotel for you-know-what.
Ah. Young daddies are so delectable.
Sugar babies don’t NEED to be stunningly young nor beautiful
Trust me when I say almost anyone can be a sugar baby. You don’t need to be young, though a matured mind is a must. It’ll be nice if you’re a drop-dead gorgeous model, but even if you’re just an average-looking girl with a good head above her shoulders, your CV’s already looking good!
They’re not all generous
Not all are generous, some are stingy. I’ve been propositioned by “daddies” who want to pay per meet. They’d promise to pay RM500 each ‘meeting’. I’ve had to stand back and politely decline. Personally, the one-off thing isn’t for me, but that doesn’t mean you can’t do it. Go ahead if you want some quick cash, but do be careful about who you meet.
What do I get?
Sugar babies can ask for anything as long as a) it is within reason, and b) your sugar daddy can afford it. I’ve gotten monthly allowances as low as RM1000, to as high as RM5000 at any one time from a single daddy.
One girl I know lives in a designer furniture-laden condo in Mont Kiara. She had her daddy paying her rent and credit card bills each month.
Sometimes you might get invited to holidays or staycations. Other times it’s shopping trips at Pavilion KL, dinner at the Grand Majestic Hotel and clubbing at the SkyBar Traders Hotel afterward.
How do I ask for the monthly arrangement? What arrangements do I make?
That depends on what you need, and what you can give of course. Some sugar babies dedicate themselves to one sugar daddy only, and that’s okay.
Over the course of a month, I’ve had three. I received a monthly allowance from each, with the promise to meet up at least once a week. Some sugar daddies are busy businessmen, so sometimes I don’t even see them more than twice a month. That leaves plenty of time for me to enjoy the spoils of sugar dating.
Be courteous, but most of all, BE YOURSELF.
You know, it’s going to be difficult to constantly want to be that “perfect sugar baby”. You’ll end up being frustrated, conforming to a different guy every night.
DON’T. I can tell you now that you are not going to be happy about this. This is sugar dating, not prostitution, honey. You’re doing this on your own accord, so even if you are desperate for a little cash, NEVER conform to being someone you’re not comfortable with.
Still, it pays to be courteous – nobody likes a rude and demanding sugar baby.
How much was I earning?
All in all, I’ve gotten close to RM20,000 during this experimental month. This is just cash, not inclusive of the gifts I’ve gotten from all the daddies. One was highly lavish, splurging on five-star suites and filling the whole tub with melted chocolate to surprise me. He was properly rewarded for this sweet gesture later. 😉
You don’t always need to have sex
Some see sex as a necessity, and there are those who see it as a novelty. One of the three sugar daddies I had was a successful heart surgeon in Singapore who flew to Kuala Lumpur twice a month. In his late 50s, he shared with me his views on sex.
“Sex is wonderful with a good partner, but I’m more fond of a girl who knows how to treat her man right. I’m a fan of cuddling; the emotional and physical connection makes me more satisfied than a quick roll in the hay.”
You’ll also encounter a lot of weird things, but…
…it’ll make you wisen up and accumulate worldly experience faster. For example, what do you do when you’re invited to an exclusive orgy filled with some of the most beautiful men and women you’ve ever seen? You suck it up and put on your best little black dress, only to shed them on the lushly-carpeted floor of a five-star hotel suite.
While it CAN be a viable source of income (for a while), remember…
There may be an emotional side effect. You eventually get bored of being treated so lavishly, and you long for the times when you were just a lowly shop assistant at BodyShop. Lobster and caviar and chocolate ganache tinted with gold flakes started to taste the same after a while, and I began to crave roadside lok-lok and simple yumcha sessions at the neighborhood mamak. When I eventually stopped sugar dating, I found that I’m more critical of the men I meet. Not sure if it’s good or bad yet, but time will tell…
This is not all I’ve got to tell, but If there are more questions, ask away and I’ll answer them in the next article. 🙂 Comment and if I’ll pick some to answer.
* Julia: not my real name