5 Mistakes I Made When I Told My Best Friend That Her Husband Was Cheating on Her

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I’ve had my fair share of being a bridesmaid for friends and relatives, but being the maid-of-honour for Ina’s wedding was one of the most unforgettable. I absolutely loved my dresses (yeah, we had many gown changes), and the wedding party lasted for a week!

My Best Friend’s Wedding

She was my best friend of 10 years, and she was family to me. I was ecstatic when she told me she found Faris, THE guy for her, after having gone through many dates with the wrong ones.

I met him a few times before they got hitched, and we got on well. I thought he was decent, nice, and that she’d never looked happier. If she was on cloud nine, then so was I.

After their wedding, life went on as usual for all of us. Although we couldn’t meet up as often as we did before, we’d chat once in a while and talked about stuff. Things were going okay for them both (or so she told me) and she kept repeating how happy she was being married.

This must be the honeymoon period I thought, where everything is a bed of roses. But I was a marriage skeptic, so spare me.

Not long after, she’d gotten pregnant. Naturally I was thrilled for her – she had always been the broodier one between us.

I was over the moon myself, and wanted to throw her a baby shower party; I hadn’t seen her for ages after all! Plus, I wanted to score some points on being the coolest godmother, so I immediately went around places looking for venues and ideas for the baby shower.

Then, the dreaded day came as I went around one of the malls (and until today, I still ask myself why on earth did I choose to go to that particular mall?)

I bumped into Faris.

But he wasn’t alone. A woman was with him, and it sure wasn’t Ina.

There was a huge amount of PDA (Public Display of Affection) between them. It was more than I could handle, and I could taste the vomit coming up in my throat.

Faris saw me, and there was no use to avoid me, or me to him. Unsure what to do, I just said hi to him and introduced myself as his wife’s best friend to the woman.

Her face went crimson red and she turned to Faris, yelling and shouting at him. Classy.

After hurling a few insults at him (and me) she then stormed off. Before chasing after her, Faris told me to keep my mouth shut and mind my own business.


I couldn’t believe what just happened. Just the night before Ina told me that Faris was taking her to a babymoon trip to Sabah, as he wanted them to spend more time before the baby comes!

I just had to do something. I couldn’t let Faris get away with this and make a fool out of Ina.

So I went straight to her house. I didn’t have a proper script, I didn’t stop to think – everything just came out as soon as I saw her.

And these were the mistakes that made me lose my bestfriend:

I didn’t stop and pause to recollect myself. I just blurted out everything that I saw, no filter on the PDA whatsoever. “I saw them holding hands, her hands were all over him, he was smooching her, it was just like all those Hindi movies we used to watch where the couples would be fondling and caressing like nobody’s business!” I said. I didn’t even realise she was crying and sobbing.

I wasn’t sensitive about her being heavily pregnant. I didn’t even think about the complications on her and the baby. The revelations could’ve brought a serious impact on her and the baby, and all I could think of was being a babbler. I was selfish.

I didn’t even check on how things really were between them, although she claimed she was happy. What if they had some kind of ‘arrangement’? What if they had an open marriage, where they were free to do anything they liked? I was supposed to be her best friend after all, and yet I didn’t bother to find out.

What did I hope to come out of telling her? Was I even going to suggest counselling and ask her to give him a second chance? No way, not after what I saw. Would she ask for a divorce while being pregnant? Where would she go? I didn’t have the slightest idea on what she should do, and yet I was pouring my heart out on her husband’s affair.

I didn’t have any proof to back up my story. No pictures – nothing. Silly me, I should’ve taken a video or snapped a photo. What if she didn’t believe me? This was after all, her husband. The one she was supposed to trust with her life. Too late.

As I was giving Ina every single detail that happened, she just sat there, numbed and quiet at first.

After I was done, she immediately launched her attack and hurled all sort of abusive words towards me, saying I was always jealous of her life, calling me a bluff and a liar.

Ina said she knew and trusted her husband better and there was no way he’d do that.

Trembling, she ended our friendship by asking me to stay out of their lives from there onwards. And demanded that I leave her house right there and then.

Equally as shock as she was, I just left.

(Not) Best Friends Forever

I called and texted numerous of times to check on her, but she already blocked my number and cut off all sorts of communications with me. I asked around about her, but none of our mutual friends knew what happened to her, and I dared not to approach her family.

I was devastated. Those mistakes cost me our friendship. I knew I have a choice – to tell, or not to tell. Well, either way, damned if I do, damned if I don’t.

But I knew I couldn’t just keep my mouth shut and pretend that it never happened. However, if only I could turn back the clock, I’d have chosen my words carefully and found out more about them before I’d do it.

If you ever found yourself in my shoes, always pause to think, reflect on the situation and plan your moves. Or else, face the consequences.

Like I have.

Like this article? You can also read about Marrying Young – What Other Malaysians Should Know Before Making the Leap or Abusive Husband Died in My Arms. Here’s My Story.

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Nazmie Nureen
This once-a-sceptic-of-marriage Saggitarian finally got hitched and recently became a mom. She still craves on adventures all around the world, and now she has a few kindred spirits to share them with. She runs. And dreams. A lot.
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