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Fear of being me, myself! It’s always difficult for one to be true to their own self. This is because they fear, “what if people hate me for being me?”.
In fact, I was one of them. I still am, sometimes, occasionally.
However, talking about overcoming the fear of being myself, I had a hard time making people understand me. Some got it along the way, the rest accused me for being rude, ignorant and not empathetic at times. But, you know what that’s when I realised, I should stop make people like me for something I’m not. I’m a whole if I was me.
I have a habit of saying things as it is or in another word I could say that I say what I see! I would think twice before spitting it out but most of the times it never helped. My roommate who was staying with me for the past 5 years, told me something that actually got me moved -for someone being herself.
So, here’s the picture. My roommate and her classmates were planning a trip to Penang. I wasn’t invited. But I would really love to join them, being with my friends is as much exciting as going to places in a group.
Therefore, I went and asked one of my roommate’s classmates, “Can I join you guys to Penang?” She certainly said, “Let me discuss with the other two, and will buzz you soon!” Well, I pretty much assumed that.
Days passed. After months, the day got closer.
I didn’t get any invitation. Seeing my friends (my roommate and her classmates) posting pictures in Instagram about their Penang vacation didn’t shatter me as bad as I thought it could. I was sad, yes. But I was also very curious about me not getting invited.
On our final semester, the very last month, my roommate and I spoke too many things. Literally clearing the air in between us. Hence, I thought it’s about time to ask her about the uncalled vacay invitation that was still bothering me.
I asked her. Well, after listening to her explanation, I had a thought in my mind. “Is it wrong to say things as you see it?” , “Is it wrong to speak up your mind?”. So, now you could have guessed what was their reason for not calling me in.
Me being me, BOTHERED them that I would ruin the whole vacation.
You think that stopped me from conquering the world by accepting me for who I am? No, never will I ever change myself for anyone for that matter.
I have been through a lot in life. I had thrown blames on so many other things for the failures I faced. Only when I was turning into a matured grown up, out of the blue, I realised the primary solution to avoid failures in life. To love myself, to be me regardless of who loves or hates me.
Kicking start it, wasn’t easy but eventually I grew stronger than before. Now, I don’t go after people asking for approvals. They shake hands with me willingly because they accept me, the me I’m in their eyes, in everybody else’s eyes!
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