We’ve only met twice, and both meetings ended disastrously.
The feeling was mutual – she hates me, and I despise her. The Hubba’s ex-wife is a conniving character, always playing the victim to get the sympathy out of everybody, especially from mutual friends and family members.
She’d tell lies on how horribly The Hubba treated her, on how I wrecked their marriage by seducing him, etc.
There are always two sides of a story, and this is my side.
Getting Husband’s Parents On Her Side
The latest development is that she’s involved his parents in this feud.
She’s buying off The Hubba’s parents with gifts and constant visits with their kids in tow.
She’s a smart one – what kind of grandparents wouldn’t melt to see their grandchildren?
That’s how his ex-wife slithered her way back into our lives.
The Hubba was estranged from his parents for a while because they disapproved of the divorce, asking him to reconcile with her. They weren’t the least bit concerned that the marriage was already a wreck, just waiting to crumble.
His dad even gave him an ultimatum: either reconcile with the ex, or risk of being disowned by him.
The Hubba chose me. Bless him.
His mom relented after a while and gave her blessings when we got married. Neither of them attended our wedding though.
Thank goodness things got better after our child was born, when they finally accepted us.
Prevents Him From Seeing The Kids
Just when we thought things were on the right track, he found out that the ex-wife often visited his parents, and was in constant communication with his siblings.
At first it was just the just-recently-ended Hari Raya visit, bringing their kids over to his parents’ house.
Nothing wrong there, except that The Hubba already planned on taking their kids over to his parents for Hari Raya, but she said, ‘they already have plans.’
Which turned out to be that visit. What irked us the most was that he discovered that she has been keeping in touch with his mother quite a bit, something she had never done before when they were married.
Same thing with the visits, which became more and more frequent – again, something she’d never done before.
In fact, all throughout their 10-year marriage, she kept him from going back to his parents’ house, often citing ridiculous excuses like the kids aren’t comfortable, it’s small, it’s packed and hot, kids wouldn’t like the visit, etc.
What a sly move.
Lately, his parents kept asking about their kids, saying that he’s neglecting them by not visiting often. They told him off as they thought he was growing apart from them and not caring about their well-being.
What he didn’t tell them was that his ex-wife would always say they already had plans when he wanted to take them out, limiting his chances of seeing them.
And when he did manage to see the kids, they always seemed cold towards him (and me for that matter). They weren’t eager and excited to be with their father like previous visits.
It was as if they were fed with lies and stories about us.
Feeding Lies Into Willing Ears
One day, The Hubba managed to look at his mom’s phone, and it turned out that the ex-wife has been complaining to his parents about how he was preoccupied with his new family while ignoring their kids.
Adding salt to the wound was the fact that she spread lies about us, saying we spent money lavishly and didn’t bother with alimony or allowances for the kids.
But he’s been paying her that and more.
His parents seemed to have bought into it, as The Hubba isn’t the type who babbles and spills everything to them.
The latest stunt she pulled was to show up at his sister’s wedding with her whole family in tow, apparently upon his parents’ invitation. And she was the one who brought the kids, again, saying they had plans when he wanted to take them out to the same event.
And now even his siblings are on her side, ignoring me whenever I’m around and not bothering to reply my texts.
No thanks to her, this has affected his relationship with his family – and it’s a shame when we were just starting to get along.
Of all the times I’ve known him, he had never bad-mouthed her to them. Unfortunately, she has been doing it to us all this time.
We’re Not Welcome In His Family Any More
We try not to be bothered by it and continue to visit his parents as usual. But the treatment towards us and our children has changed quite a bit – I feel like we aren’t welcomed anymore.
Sometimes I think we’d be better off living elsewhere, far away from the prying eyes of the ex-wife.
But that would certainly create another rift with his parents; they would think I was the one who kept him away from his kids.
“We create our own happiness,” The Hubba reminds me whenever I feel bummed out by the ex’s actions. “Never let her bitterness and vengeance bring us to her level – we are much classier than that.”
But just last weekend, his mother declined our lunch invitation, saying she had things to do.
As it turned out, she went for a lunch date with his ex-wife and their kids.
For more articles by Nazmie, read I Decided To Use a Contraceptive After My First Child. My Family and Friends Opposed It, and I Was Called a Homewrecker, And My Friends Cut Me Out. Here’s My Story.